How Many Calories Are in a Cap?
I have been busy non stop since Thursday. Emmiko’s party was swell. And all the girls got to go on the zip line. I can’t believe how brave those little squeakers are. It was a fun weekend, but Jess and Charley were sorely missed.
Ok, so Sunday was the big day when we got the new car – the Suburban… which seats nine… so theoretically I could have another kid and we’d *still* all fit. Anyways, Geoff, Coie, Ryann, and Emmiko drove to GA to drop off the cutie Carr and pick up the new Ig-mobile.
It was nice because they were gone from 8am until about 10pm. I laid around all day and finished, The Woman in White, by Wilkie Collins. Ok, first of all, Wilkie Collins is a guy. I had no idea. Second of all, I don’t know that there is a better novel that’s been written in all the whole big world. I LOVED IT. I’m sad it’s over, but I’m being consoled with, Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell. So far so good.
WE LOVE HAVING THE SURBURBAN. Yesterday we went out and picked up a dryer (we’ve been dryer-less for over a month) and then went and celebrated at a Chinese restaurant. ALL OF US… riding in the SAME car together. Minus poor Coie, who had to work and missed out on all the fun. And the front is a bench seat so me and Geoff can snuggle. I am so happy. Plus the AC works great.
Ok, so also on yesterday, before all of our dryer-picking-up-and-Chinese-food fun, I had to go back to the dentist for phase II of my root canal. It was less stressful than last time. Afterwards Geoff told me that the only time he took his hand off of my head was when they had to pass this four foot needle behind my back so I wouldn’t see it. Shudder shudder. When they were done (it took about an hour and a half) they told me, “Ok, now that’s just the cap, you’ll need to come back in three weeks so we can snap the crown on. And whatever you do, be careful what you eat; chew on the left side of your mouth, and don’t eat anything hard like chips”.
So I nodded groggily, and then me and Geoff went out to lunch. At a Mexican restaurant. I got a soft taco, and, uh, chips and salsa.
About 3/4ths thru our lunch, the numbness started wearing off and all of a sudden I tasted something weird, and so I put my tongue back to where my new cap was supposed to be, and in a panic, I felt only HALF OF A TOOTH back there. Boy did I freak. So I told Geoff, “I think I swallowed my cap”. He started laughing and I felt nauseous and nearly fainted. So we went back to the dentist and I snuck up to the desk and whispered, “Uh… I, uh, I think I accidentally ate my new cap” And there was a large chorus of nurses that suddenly rang out, “OH DEAR!! Bley-essssssss yer little haaaaaaaa-errrrt” I hate it when people say ‘Bless your heart’, because in the South it means, “Boy you’re an idiot”.
So the nurse took me right back, looked in my mouth and told me, “Nope. It’s still back there”. Apparently, they sawed my tooth down in half on purpose and it’s supposed to be like that. I felt dumb, but I was really glad that I hadn’t eaten the cap after all. At any rate, I’m not going to eat any more chips just in case they really meant it when they said it the first time.
Fun with TomTom and Jane
My husband got one of those nifty navigation nerdules. He’s in heaven. And I have to admit I’m glad he got it because it really is pretty handy and helpful. I drove two and a half hours to Chattanooga to pick up this Carr:
Isn’t she cute?
Anyhow, on the ride down, the TomTom was very helpful; my driving companion was “Jane” who has a very classy British accent and told me exactly when to turn, where to turn, when to get over to the left lane and confirm when I was to continue forward to get onto the ‘motorway’. Except she says it “Mow-teh-way”. We only got into a fight once, and that was when I had to pull off to get gas and bottled water. She got a little snippy with me and kept telling me, “Tuhrn around as soon as pah-sibble and head back teh-wahrds the mow-teh-way”. I had to keep snapping back, in my own British accent “No, Jane, I need petrol, stop being so deucedly bossy”. We made up, though; we’re cool now.
Me and Geoff the Great will be dropping back the Carr on Sunday, and at that point we’ll be swapping that Carr for a new car. Is that not brilliantly exciting? I can’t wait to drive around as a big family all together in one vehicle again. I still can’t believe our friends are just GIVING us their Suburban.
In the meantime I am gearing up for the rest of Emmiko’s little friends to come over for a birthday sleep over. They are all sleeping outside in the tent which will make things remarkably less noisy. I’m a great fan of less noisy.
And, this was a surprise, when we were driving home from Chattanooga, Ryann called me about a very mysterious package addressed to Emmiko which had been delivered by UPS from a music store in Ca.
Is it not beautiful? It had no card, but it didn’t take long to figure out from whence it came. My dad sure knows how to get a household worked into a frenzy. Emmiko is very excited – she has wanted to learn the violin for a long time. I was content to let her just work on clapping or snapping. Snapping and clapping is much cheaper, plus it’s easier to learn. Last night she told me that she was gonna learn the violin really fast and then start playing songs with me (on guitar) and Ryann (on piano). I will not be afraid of turning into the Partridge Family.
A Birthday Date and some minor annoyances
I feel like Kellieann, I never give movie reviews. None-the-less, here it goes. First of all, I recommend taking Ryann to any movie you attend. I had more fun listening to her laugh her head off than anything else. She and Bo are so similar.
Anyways, it is Emmiko’s birthday this week, so Geoff the Great and I decided to take her on a movie date. We all loved the first Batman… Batman Begins. Matter of fact, the first time I ever saw that movie was on a double date with Kate Kessler and her man. Boy was that was fun.
Anyways, we really liked the first Batman so we’ve been looking forward for The Dark Knight to come out. Geoff took Ryann and Coie on Sat night and I stayed home with the little kids, and then on Monday night Geoff took me, Ryann, Emmiko and Bo, while Coie held down the fort
Personally, I liked the movie – violence does not generally faze me or my family. The Patriot and Master and Commander are a couple of our favorite flicks. Violence / Grossness = not generally a problem. And ‘violence’ was really the only thing in the Dark Knight that was an issue. There was no swearing and almost zero romance.
There could have been *more* violence during the movie, but I controlled myself. The guy sitting behind was eating his popcorn really loudly – but what made me nearly come unglued was he kept sucking his teeth. Loudly. Very loudly. Right in my ear. I had an urge to swing around and karate chop him in the jugular. And then, right as the movie started, this human Q-tip came in and sat directly in front of me. I’ve never seen such puffy white hair on a man. It was literally obstructing the screen. So I got up and went to the back of the theater and tried to eyeball an empty seat where nobody could bother me. But the place was packed out. So I ended up standing at the back for the three hours. Actually, that’s not true. After about two hours I finally got bored of standing and I sat down with my back against the wall. It was nice. I had the whole wall to myself. My husband came back a couple times to offer me candy and to tell me I was a retard… as if I didn’t know.
All in all it was a lovely date and we all had fun. Bo liked the movie, but the violence did bother him. And I confess, in a couple of places it was a little over the top. Emmiko thought the movie was great and Ryann thought it was hilarious. I think I would have enjoyed it more as a rental. On my couch. Minus Q-tips and Teeth Suckers.
In other news, I got to spend Sunday with two of my favorite families Plus I met a new family that was entirely hilarious. Maria’s sister is very cool. Boy was it hot, but we still had a smashing time. I love my friends.
A Self Recommendation
I am not the only girl in the world who looks forward to long waiting room intervals at doctor or dentist offices. Where else does one get a good chunk of uninterrupted time to read? Not even being locked in the bathroom compares, because when you’re in the bathroom you can still hear them clawing outside the door to let you know: “James just licked my bowl of oatmeal and when I told him to stop he just laughed and started running in circles and now he’s outside with the cat and he says he’s gonna give it a bath in that one bucket you told us not to touch but I think maybe he’s trying to drown it because he’s just being naughty today so are you almost done in there because I need some toilet paper cause our bathroom ran out and bobo won’t help me find my pencil.” My eye is twitching.
So anyways, on Wednesday I was looking forward to my dentist visit so I could finish my book. But first some background… I told you a week ago that I went in and the dentist said I needed a cavity filled, right? And then they said I’d have to wait until August because they were going on vacation. I thought I could make that work, but nope, I couldn’t. My jaw has been KILLING me. So I made an appt with a different dentist, Dr Robert Self. I am not kidding. That’s his real name. I went in at the appointed time, and then sat in the parking lot for over a half hour and started getting opposite of happy and gracious because the doors stayed locked and all the lights in the bldg were off. I went home to call them, full of Self-loathing, and even their line didn’t pick up. So then I got online and found the confirmation email they had sent – in order to send them a sweet little note in return about how hot their parking lot is – and I saw that my appt was scheduled for *Thursday*. Not Wednesday.
Ok, so since I was no longer appalled at the lack of professionalism on their part, I went ahead and kept my Thursday appt. And guess what the new dentist said? He said, “You don’t need a cavity filled… You need a ROOT CANAL”. And all these nurses in black frothy funeral gowns floated in and they twisted up their green faces and chanted, “You’re gonna die. You’re gonna DIE. YOU”RE GONNA DIE”
I told him, “Fine, I’ll come back, but I need to warn you, I have an inordinate fear of anything medical – seriously. I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack just thinking about it” So he said, “No problem, we’re gonna give you some valium and then hook you up to the gas machine and you’ll sleep thru the whole thing”.
So the next morning (which happened to be yesterday) I took the little valium pill that he told me to take an hour before my appt. And boy did that thing kick in fast. Dippy came in to show me a letter that he got from Mr. Grand, but all the letters kept hop scotching. Geoff the Great drove me over (I remember little of the drive), then he took me into the waiting room, and then they brought me down a hallway – boy was I feeling dopey – and then they put me in that diabolical chair and immediately – and I mean immediately – I snapped right back to my normal self. No dizziness, no loopiness, no giddiness. It was gone. GONE. When the nurse came in and asked me how I felt I told her, “Well I was nice and doped up, but, uh. I, uh. I’m too alert. I can’t do this. I think I need to go home”. So she patted my arm (which normally would have really irritated me, but didn’t this time) and said, “Let’s talk to Dr. Self, first” So he came in, and by this time I was shaking and sweating and my heart was galloping, and he said, “Here, put this on and breath deep and you’ll be out in a couple seconds and everything will be fine”
So I nodded and let them strap this elephant trunk over my face and started breathing. After about three minutes I looked over at the nurse and said, “When’s this stuff sposed to kick in?” and she sort of laughed and said, “It’s supposed to start working as soon as you breath it” So I told, “I think your tank is empty” and she said, “Nope, it’s full” So I said, “I think somebody accidentally filled it with regular air” and she said, “Ha ha”. Then I asked, “Do you have it turned up? Maybe you should turn it up” And she said, ‘we’ve been turning it up this whole time and now it’s going full blast – are you breathing thru your nose?” Am I breathing thru my nose? I was snorting my head off trying to get that gas to do its dumb job. So we all just kept sitting there staring at each other and waiting for me to pass out – the Dr. was a lot more patient that I would have been with a panicked lunatic in my chair.
After about three more minutes I said, “How bout you give me another one of those valium. It worked earlier… maybe I just need a higher dosage”. I felt pretty doctor-ly-ish because they all thought that was a good plan. I ended up taking THREE, and the last one they told me to chew. Ok… first of all, don’t take valium. Second of all, don’t chew valium. That stuff tastes like burnt sewage.
The nurse said, “Honey, you just need to calm down –that stuff is sure to kick in”.
Ten minutes later, now being totally doped up on enough valium to knock out a large elephant, and nearly hyperventilating as I furiously sucked that gas through my nose, I looked over at the nurse and said, “uh… what else do you got?”
Then Dr. Self said, “Look, you can come back some other day and we can try this again if you want, but seriously, the longer you wait the worse that tooth is gonna get”.
So I started maniacally inhaling that non existent gas and told him, “No, that’s ok, I’m ok, I think I’m ok, just get it over with” and then I started shaking so hard that my flip flop fell off.
I have to hand it to Self, both he and the nurse showed extraordinary patience. So he told me to open my mouth – that was not easy. As ridiculous as this sounds, I almost started crying. After about 15 minutes I asked the nurse, “Could you please turn up that gas? Please?” And she told me again that it was all the way up and I should be knocked out cold”. And then the doctor told me, “This is gonna take about an hour and a half, but you won’t feel anything because I’ve completely numbed up your mouth”
That’s when I *really* panicked, and I told them, “Ok, listen, this will sound weird, and I’m sorry for being such a pain, but I can’t do this unless you bring my husband back here and let him put his hand on my head”.
So about 15 seconds later they were all making introductions and my husband had his thumb pressed into my forehead and was winding locks of my hair through his fingers. And within about thirty seconds I was in this lovely, dreamy half conscious state. Every time I opened my eyes my husband was standing over me gently pulling his fingers through my hair. That dental procedure was the fastest 15 minutes of my life – at least it felt about 15 minutes. Geoff the Great stood there for almost two hours through the whole thing. When we left, the nurses and the dentist kept repeatedly telling him how glad they were to have him back there. Then we went home and I slept like a cow for the rest of the day and all thru the night.
In a week and a half I need to go back in to get a crown put on, which, naturally, means I’m a princess.
You Shall Now Knoweth More About the One Called Jefferson
Ok, so I’ve become a total literary snob, which means I’ve come to hate all contemporary novels, right? You can imagine my dread when my dad brought me a book to read which was written in 1999. I’ve been putting it off since he left. Besides, I had an Anthony Trollope book to finish, plus an Eden Southworth sequel to wrap up. But he’s my book buddy. He reads everything I send him and that makes me obligated to read whatever he sends me back. So I started this book, and oh my heck… I’m so hooked. I can’t put it down. It is so good and I love it. I’m gonna make my husband read it when I’m done – which will be a trick because he only reads warranties, directions, and ‘how to’ manuals for vacuum cleaners, welding equipment and car engines.
I now will have to give a qualification when I turn up my nose and snobbishly quip, “I don’t read contemporary authors… except for Frank Peretti” I’m halfway thru The Visitation . Highly recommendable.
In other news, I never do tags. But this one was fun. It came from DeeDeeUK
Thanks DeeDee! That was a fun tag. I never do tags.
My son, Dippy, just came in my room and asked if we could ‘have a little prayer together’. And then he prayed for all sorts of stuff and ended it with, “And dear Lord, please help my mom live as long as she’s sposed to”.
Apparently I am, indeed, raising a Calvinist.
…I don’t even know if that’s a real song but even after 20 years I still get it stuck in my head.
I’m a mama again! Sort of. Megan finally made her cat give birth, and so now our cat collection has gone up again. Yipppeeee fer me! I hope this new batch stays alive. So far I really like our newest, Claudia. And she has made herself right at home…
And now for some more good news… it looks like my husband will be hired for a job that he really really really totally really wanted. His interview was today and it went great (the guy kept him in there for three hours). This is excellent for us because it would mean a regular weekly paycheck, plus commission and bonuses, and it also comes with health insurance. Yay! Hooray! Hurrah! The guy also told him that, based on his resume and just from talking with him, he thinks he’d be a potentially great fit for a managers position that may be coming up (I think next year). That’s so cool. My husband is so exceedingly marvelous. This is great news for us.
The sales job he’s had for the last year is ONLY commission based. And that’s hard, because iffen you don’t sell nothin’, then you ain’t gettin’ no paycheck. It was hugely excellent for us when he was able to quit his second job (a graveyard job position, which we were super thankful for but it was murder working so many hours), and now for him to just have ONE job — that should cover all of our bills – is really a huge answer to prayer.
In other news, we’ve been watching the John Adams movie, based on the book by David McCullough (rented it from Blockbuster). I’m really enjoying it. Abigail Adams was quite an amazing lady. It’s funny because the Abigail character reminds me *so* much of Kate the Lovely, and about 30 minutes after the movie started my kids turned around and screeched – “Doesn’t that remind you of Mrs. Kessler???!!” It totally does.
And for some more good news… Jess and Charley are coming back later this year to spend Christmas with us. HALLELUJIA !!!! Ryann… don’t tell your siblings, it’s sposed to be a surprise.
My ducks have already cleaned 1/4th of the pond. Super Ducks.
Ok, so yesterday when Coie was at work, I got an email from her cell phone, which was simply a picture of a cat in a box and the words, “Sorry mama, I couldn’t resist”. Who could? Isn’t she pretty? We called her Claudia, which we got from Southworths, Ishmael –and she’s just as feisty. Feisty. That’s a funny word.
I tried to get a better picture, but that thing is all claws and long limbs. And yep, Megan, we’re still gonna want one of your kitties, too. That’s if they *ever* get themselves born…
In other news, we also finally FINALLY got eight ducks. We were supposed to pick up ten of them, but when we showed up, the lady who was selling them told me, “Ok, that’ll be five bucks a duck”. So I gave her one of my crazy goggle-eyed “Ohhhh Nuh-uh!” looks and told her, “Your husband said I could have ten ducks for $40 since I was buying so many”. To which she replied, “Well that’s just too bad, they’re $5 per duck and next week they’ll be $6 per duck”. So then I grabbed her by the back of the hair and banged her head against the barn door. Translation: I grumbled and muttered and paid her five bucks a duck. Wow, it just hit me … part of my life now includes bartering over the price of poultry. I simply don’t know when or how that’s happened.
But as you can see, they were sorely needed. It looks like they’re floating on the lawn, but nope, that’s our grodie pond. Sick! Hopefully those little fellas will clean it up in a hurry. The last ducks we had always kept it nice and bright and sparkly and shiny. I’m also hoping that the two snapping turtles — which Emmiko caught and, uh, lovingly, er, sent to a better place — were the reason that the other ducks disappeared. Now that the snapping turtles are, ahem, not here, perhaps our little fluffy quackies will stick around to keep Lake Curry in tip top shape.
In otherly-ish news, believe it or not, we might have more excellent news coming up. I dunno yet. And I’m not getting my hopes up. We should maybe know by Monday afternoon. I was telling one of my friends that I felt like I was going to drown in all the blessings that’s been poured out.
And I never thought I would say this and mean it, but I am actually really, truly thankful for the year we had in 07 because it has only made 08 all the more impossible perfect. And it’s funny, because in 07 I was so overwhelmed that whenever somebody would say ‘God would surely bless us in the future’ – I didn’t even care. I was so ground down and crushed that the idea of ‘future happiness’ seemed only to mock me. I hope you have never been in that place. And if I am ever there again (which is entirely possible), I hope I remember that excruciating circumstances never last. Neither do the emotions that come with those circumstances. And it’s especially during these times that ‘feelings’ are irrelevant. They should never dictate decisions.
I did not lose my faith, but I knew I was utterly at the mercy of God’s sovereignty and I could only plead with Him and beg Him to keep me from turning into a total raving psychotic fruit bucket. And He upheld me. If you get a chance, read Psalm 16. Actually it’s short; I’ll just type it out for you:
“How long, Oh Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long will my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and hear me, O Lord my God; Enlighten my eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death; lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed against him”; lest those who trouble me rejoice when I am moved. But I have trusted in Your mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.”
All that to say, I was deceived when I thought those present sufferings could extinguish future joy. How naive and immature. And yet I do not know that I could have made myself “feel” any different at the time. And that’s why it’s so important not to take ourselves or our feelings too seriously. Our most excellent pastor just preached on this very Psalm – it’s well worth the time. You can find it HERE
Ok, see you later, I’ve got ducks to gaze at.
Heavens to Betsy I hate the dentist. Well, not personally. Apparently, not only do I have a raging cavity, but I also ground out one of my bottom fillings. I did not know I had a teeth grinding problem. It all makes sense now, because for the last nine months or so, my jaw has been killing me and I couldn’t figure out why. That’s gross.
The dentist was going to take care of the cavity while I was in the chair but all of a sudden I went white, broke out in a sweat and started shaking… so he told me, “um… I’m gonna set you up to come back on another day so I can hook you up to the happy gas machine”. That was awfully nice of him, don’t you think?
As I was leaving, the nurse said, “How’d a big chicken baby like you give birth to so many kids?”
To which I brilliantly responded with a dumb blank stare.
In other news, Coie is selling the Civil War dress that she made (size 8-10). I will link to it when it goes up on Ebay. We were looking at Civil War dresses the other day and they’re going for like $125. She took pictures of Ryann wearing it and I thought they (the dress and Ryann) looked really lovely. What a talented girl I own.
Also, if you live in Canada and have a blog, will you email me at Jeneferig @ gmail. com ? I will tell you why when you email me. Don’t worry, it’s a fun thing.
Also, I am looking for a writer to pen an article for a project I am working on — I need a 750 word article on the benefits and advantages of learning a foreign language; if this is something you could do, email me, k?
I noticed after I posted the last entry that I didn’t include any pictures of Aaron and my husband. That tweren’t on purpose. Geoff thought Aaron was splendid and he had fun getting everyone hooked up on the zipline. We also made Aaron and his mom milk goats. Heh heh. We’ll turn them city slickers into back woods farm-billies yet. They also helped pick plums. He played about 140 games of chess with all his brothers and sisters; wrestled Bo, Dippy and James (and won even when all three pounced on him at once), beat Ryann in several arm wrestling rounds; spent hours playing with them on the monster tree swing, and basically just made everybody in our family feel entirely loved. He is so sweet, caring, and thoughtful. I praise God for the person he is, and I cannot thank his momsie and daddems enough for shaping him into who he is. God is so merciful.
They may come back next year. I sure hope so. I did really well until about 15 minutes before they left. Then I bawled my head off. And then his momsie teared up. And then Aaron took off his silver cross necklace and put it around my neck. Then I lost it again. Ughhhh. I thought my eyeballs were going to flood right out of my head. Ryann and Coie also had a hard go of it. Before he left he gave each of them one of his t-shirts, and both my girls have been wearing them since he’s left. They should probably wash those eventually. And James keeps telling me to bring “his friend’ back. He had an immediate attachment to his big brother and he was always planted on Aaron hip, back or shoulders. So sweet.
Thank you for rejoicing with me. This has been, hands down, the best summer of my life.
In non-self-inducing-blubbering news. Notice anything different about Ryann?
I’ll give you a hint. It has to do with a big mouthful of missing metal. Her teeth may be the most expensive thing I own. I bought them; that means their mine.
But before the metal removal happened, our friends, George and Chris Calhoun (and their six perfectly behaved and extraordinarily delightful children), drove down from MO (Thursday night) and stayed with us until Sunday evening. They are our oldest friends (as in ‘we’ve known them longer than anybody else’). As a matter of fact, George introduced me to my husband about fifteen years ago. I had just moved into an apartment and became friends with the upstairs neighbors. Those neighbors, in turn, introduced me to their goofy, single friend, George. I was newly saved and had zero Christian friends. I started going to church with him and he included me into his group of ‘college and career’ friends. He would pick me and Coie up (I had no car) and bring us to the get-togethers, game nights and swim parties at Geoff’s house – actually, it was Geoff’s grandparents enormous house. They were really nice to let everybody hang out there. Anyways, that’s how me and Geoff met.
We had a superbly excellent time with the Calhouns over the weekend – and check this out… all those plums we picked with Aaron went to good use:
Me and Chris canned about 60 jars (while Geoff and George drove around town and played). Aren’t they beautiful??? I feel like such a farm-girl. I can’t tell you how satisfying that was. And all the kids helped us cut out material squares to spiffy up the jars. This may have been the busiest week I’ve ever lived.
And oh yeah! The new edition of Home School Enrichment came out last week. It was fun seeing my article in print. I am scheduled to appear in their next issue, too.
Aaron and his beautiful Momsie
Ryann born Feb 26, 1994 ~ Aaron born Feb 26, 1992