More Bad Parenting on Display
I am *such* an awful mother. Seriously. It’s embarrassingly appalling.
So here’s the whole story…
Bobo and Dippy decided to play cops and robbers outside in the dark. First of all, what sort of mother lets her kids play outside in the dark?
But wait, before I go on, my husband specifically told me that he did not want to let the kids get a trampoline because Dippy *always* gets hurt when we have one. So even though the trampoline wasn’t directly involved, I think it may still be to blame somehow because this happened two weeks after bringing that thing home.
ANYWAYS, I was in my room trying to figure the odds on whether Julie Austin will come to the Bloomin’ Fun Bluedorn Ball or not, when all of a sudden I heard shrieking and crying and wailing coming from the cage (that’s what we call the closed-in porch). So amidst all the shrieking, my kids all start yelling at me, “MOM! STAY IN YOUR ROOM, YOU DO *NOT* WANT TO SEE THIS!!”
So my elbows and knees went all oogelly gooogelly and then finally Coie came in and pronounced, “Ok, we need to take Dip to the ER. He’s gonna need a bunch of stitches”. Shudder Shudder.
This is when I learned that during Cops and Robbers, the Robber, i.e. Dippy, fell backwards into a big bush and ‘got it in the end’. Literally. Which just goes to show that crime doesn’t pay. He fell right onto a sharp stick and gashed his little butt cheek. Good heavens, I’m feeling woozy thinking about it.
So Coie – in her moose jammies – and I carefully laid Dippy on his stomach in the backseat of her car (Bo sat back there with him to hold the towel and ice in place) and we zipped over to the hospital.
They were pretty crowded and we had to wait. The check-in lady said, “Just take a seat”. Easy for her to say. We went around a corner and had to lay Dippy on his stomach. Poor little fella.
So then they finally called us back (we all sorta had to take turns dragging Dip along because he wasn’t able to walk). The nurse who checked us in chewed her gum like a camel. I’ve seen camels in real life, and I tell you the truth, she chewed just like a camel. Gross.
When we got back to our little room they realized that there were no hospital gowns in kid sizes, so instead of letting Dip swim around in an adult sized gown, they brought him one for toddlers. Ok, this is where I lost it. I thought she was kidding when she brought it in. It was tiny…TINY, and not only was it tiny, but it had fluffy teddy bears and colorful beach balls on it. Dippy was in too much pain to notice at the time, but when Coie pulled off his shirt and slipped it over his head, he looked down and was absolutely stricken. The boy is EIGHT YEARS OLD. Granted, he’s very skinny, but good grief, no eight year old boy should ever be forced to wear a teddy bear beach ball gown six sizes too small.
So, like I said, I lost it. I exploded. I couldn’t help it. I absolutely could not stop laughing. And then the doctor came in – and I could literally not stop laughing. Believe me, I tried. He kept trying to talk to me about my poor injured son but I was shaking and gasping and had tears streaming down my face, so finally I had to just flee the room and hide in the bathroom down the hall until I could get myself under control. Good heavens. The doctor must’ve thought I was a monster. I still can’t understand why he wasn’t laughing. I’ve never seen anything so comical in all my born days. Bad! Bad Mother!
In my defense, even Coie and Bobo couldn’t help laughing their heads off – they were just better at choking it back than I was. Coie used her cell phone and got a picture of him in his little mini gown but my son absolutely put his foot down and refuses to let me post it.
So anyhow, I came back before all the stitching commenced (EIGHT stitches!). Thankfully I was able to stop cackling like a loon and was able to feign sanity for the rest of the procedure.
And the nurse was cool. When they were all done she asked if I needed her to write a note to excuse him from school. I told her that we homeschooled so I’d just write a note and give it to myself in the morning. And she actually laughed. Finally, a nurse with a sense of humor; I’ve found that to be a rarity.
Dippy is doing well. But he has to forgo all of his chores and lay on his stomach all day and play Nintendo 64. Poor kid.
Dancing, Chevys, and an Open Letter to the John Austin Family
Well, the BHEA event was *very* fun. What a neat group of ladies. It was a real blessing to be a part of things and I was so thankful my friends Angie and Pam were able to come and help lead a round table discussion. PLUS I got to see my fabulous friend, Phyllis, who I’ve not seen since Florida. And it was exciting to meet Linda Hobar. She’s a cool lady; I hope I didn’t scare her. I’m such a groupie. Her Mystery of History books are just SO fabulous.
Ok, I have some interesting news. I’ll start from the beginning and give you the whole chain of events.
And I only mention that because I’m guessing that’s why I dreamed about Laurie Bluedorn last week – they also have a barn dance every year, except for some inexplicable reason they have their barn dance all the way up in Hudson IL, which is about nine hours away from us. I know, it makes NO sense.
Anyways, I dreamed that I was in some convention hall with Laurie, and I said, “Hey, if you have a dance this year I really want to come” and she told me, “Um, uh, er, uh, …sorry, but we only allow locals to attend”.
So naturally, when I woke up, I let her know how offended I was. And then she let me know that they are having a barn dance again this year and that we should drive up for it. But she didn’t just leave it at that… she THEN hinted (challenged?) about having another Dance-Off (two years ago she and Harvey MOPPED up Geoff and me in a Virginia Reel show down – actually, that’s not true, I still maintain the whole thing was rigged) and if that wasn’t enough, she says that Harvey Bluedorn will be playing the electric guitar.
Seriously… what’s a girl to do under that sort of provocation? So we are going. We’re driving up to make the third annual Bluedorn Ball on Nov 7th, and we cannot WAIT! Plus, they have a CHEVYS Fresh Mex up there! Oh my heavens. I really cannot wait.
And now, if there are any of you out there who are as compulsive as we are – and I know there is! – I’m extending the invitation. This party is open to all locals and non-locals alike. HERE are the details. Do try and make it! It is going to be so fun.
And now… the following is an open letter of appeal to the John and Julie Austin family:
Dear Julie Austin,
I am saddened and grieved and otherwise particularly unsatisfied with your recent decision. I appeal to you, publicly, and ask that you reconsider your decision and say YES you WILL indeed meet us in IL and referee the 2nd Bluedorn / Igarashi Dance-Off Challenge. If *we* can drive up to IL, then *you* certainly can, too. Be compulsive like us and throw caution to the wind. Sure, gas is pricey, but there are ways to compensate. Have a bake sale, or put some of your chickens up on Ebay.
Listen, Julie… here are 5 reasons why you should come up to the Bloomington Barn Dance
#5) It’s gonna be the funnest event *ever* in the whole history of 2008. #4) The fund raiser is for a *very* super excellent cause #3) Bobo cordially expresses his compliments and requests Mrs. Austin to be his partner in the Virginia Reel. #2) Laurie got a picture of her iphone tattooed on her right bicep. She said she’d only show it to me if I could get you to come up, too. Isn’t that right, Laurie? Tell her it’s true so she’ll come.
And , the #1 reason why you should come) Laurie and Harvey drove ALL the way down to come to YOUR barn dance, it’s only right that you drive up to theirs. It’s the Christian thing to do.
I’m serious, Julie, you just have to make it. You just HAVE to. I’ll bring cookies. Just think about it, and then say “yes”. Or don’t think about it and then say “yes” — that’s what we did, and just look how happy we are. And don’t read the Thinking Toolbox. My logic is sound. Trust me.
In other news – and this really is news – my Blog Truant Daughter #1 actually posted again. Unbelievable.
Aha! You see? This was taken right off my back deck. Fall is coming.
Matter of fact, it’s been downright chilly in the mornings. This is my absolute favorite time of the year.
About five years ago, my friend, Jennifer G (from MI) sent me a Thanksgiving Tree. It started a new tradition in our home. The first tree she sent did not make it over in the move from CA to TN, but that’s been just as well because making the tree is half the fun.
Yesterday Emmiko built the tree, and now, throughout the weeks leading up until Thanksgiving, my kids will trace (real) leaves onto colored construction paper, cut them out, and write what they are thankful for. Normally ending a sentence with a preposition doesn’t signify, but for some reason that last one is really bothering me. Anyhow, these Thankful Leaves will then be taped onto the branches of the Thankful Tree. I love this project.
In other news, and still speaking of being ‘thankful’, I really like my Blockbuster ‘movies thru the mail’ subscription. We don’t have a TV, but there are some things that I really want to watch. I can find almost anything on the Blockbuster site. Last week I found a show called Survivorman, hosted by a guy named Les Stroud. My kids LOVE it. He gets dropped off in the wilderness and demonstrates how to survive.
And now, every day – EVERY DAY – James goes outside to gather firewood and build a shelter. Yesterday Bo helped him with the frame.
And here’s James sizing up dinner…
Hum de Dum de Dum
I simply hate being bored. Boredom leads to all sorts of trouble. What’s that one saying? “Idle hands are the devil’s tools…” or something or other. Somewhere in time somebody said something like that, so there, that proves it. Bored = bad
Ok, so this last week has been pretty boring. I think my summer of successive stopovers has spoilt me into expecting a constant stream of entertainment and non-boring distractions. Seriously, starting in March, Coie and I traveled to five different states (over five weekends), and in between we had Jess and Charley, my dad, my son Aaron (!), the Calhouns, the Thompson sisters, and the Carrs stay at our home. I don’t think we’ve ever had such an eventful summer. 08 still does not register as being “started”… and here we are nearly at the end of it!
What’s my point? I have no idea. I’m just bored this week, that’s all. And I miss my sister.
In other news, Coie and all the kids pooled their money and bought an Arm Breaker, i.e. a trampoline. Dippy busted his elbow on one when he was four or five. Then he busted his other elbow falling out of a tree. I don’t think I should let that kid play outside.
But school is going well this year. I’ve noticed I’m a better teacher when there are not a lot of activities to get whirled into. When things threaten to get boring, my kids tend to learn more.
Here’s a link to a post that I really enjoyed earlier this week.
How to Mortify Your Kids into Better Behavior
I’m really lucky because I have the best friends *ever*. A true friend is somebody you can, A) Count on telling you the truth, B) Have grace for you when you act like an idiot, and C) Help you train your kids in uniquely effective ways.
First, some background… I’m one of those over particular parents who took the Growing Kids God’s Way course when my oldest was five, and then used that as a standard of judging everybody else’s bratty children. Scary, no? We all have our struggles, that has always been one of mine, being judgmental and easily irritated with badly behaved children.
Ok, so, I have to admit, God really has done a work in me over the last 15 years, but I still always tell this story – which I’m about to tell you – about one of the most outrageously bad parenting techniques that I witnessed first hand. There’s a reason why I’m telling it to you now… keep reading
When my kids were all still really little, there was this lady who came over with her monstrous two year old son. This kid was a nightmare, but it wasn’t fully his fault. His mom was training him to be a full blown self bloated tyrannical dictator. Anyways, while she sat at the table sipping tea, her kid was running around shoving cookies into my VCR, jumping on my furniture, ripping up books, etc.
When they FINALLY were about to leave, she started packing up her kid he suddenly grabbed hold of a toy and began shrieking, “This is mine! This is mine! I want it!” SHREIKING, mind you, shrieking. You would have thought I would have happily offered the toy just to get them out of the house, but no, I was not going to reward that brat with my daughter’s toy. But then… THEN, it’s MOTHER looked at me with this very pained expression and said, “Can I just let him keep it? He really wants it”. Gracious Heavens! I couldn’t believe it. She was literally training the kid to steal other people’s property.
So at that point I just nodded and opened the door for them.
Fast forward 15 years. The day before yesterday I was hanging out at one of my best friend’s house and my five year was playing close by. I’ll pause to say I used to think I was a really superior parent. Used to. My five year old has taught me differently. He continually humbles me. So anyways, all the kids were playing and I looked over and saw him holding up a little toy measuring tape, which belongs to Maria’s sweet little toddler, and says to her, “Um… I love this, can I have it?” I was mortified. I was hoping she didn’t hear him, and I pulled him over towards me and whispered, “You mustn’t ask for other people’s toys!”
I ended up leaving early, because I always leave early on account of being weird and missing my hermit-house, but Coie stayed longer (she had driven over from work) so Bo and Ryann could watch Mr. R shoot guns.
We beat Coie home by about an hour, but when she got home, guess what she had? The very toy that my naughty five year old asked for! Visions of that other tyrannical kid flashed thru my mind and I almost started to panic.
Later that evening, James was lying on my lap – holding his ill-gotten toy — and I was trying to figure out a way to get my kid to realize that his behavior was not acceptable.
Finally, I looked down and said, “Poor little L-, he’s just a baby”. And then a minute later I sighed, “Poor little L-, that was his favorite toy”. A minute later I said, “I feel so sad for poor little L-, he’s laying in bed crying for his little toy that he loves so much”. James sort of looked at me and then looked at the toy and his CHIN actually started to quiver. So then I drove it home and said in a real soft voice… “Poor little L-, he is wishing for his favorite toy but he doesn’t have it anymore because YOU asked his mother if you could steal it away from him. Poor little L-“. And then James bolted up, literally started crying, and said, “Mommy, mommy, please lets get in the car right now and take it to him”
Triumph! I put the toy in Coie’s car and told him she’d take it back for him. The next morning he wrapped up his favorite yellow race car and said he wanted to take it to L-. Hoooray, I got to his heart!
So see? I told you I have the best friends in the whole world. My friend was gracious enough to let my kid take away her kid’s toy and I was able impact my naughty five year old with a very important lesson that I don’t think he’ll forget. It was worth being embarrassed over.
Ok, in other news, my friend Lisa is hosting a neat contest — and it’s twice as neat because my friend Nancy is providing the prize. Definitely one to check out!
You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille
Time is flying! Is Sept really already half way over? How’d that happen?
Yesterday, my younger brother, Jay, joined the marines. I am excited for him. Jess and Choncho were able to meet my dad and step mom in Anchorage for his swearing in ceremony. They have to make sure you can swear real good before you join the service. I kill myself. So congrats to Jay! That is a real adventure, and I know our dad is proud. We all are!
he’s the massive blond headed one.
And speaking of Jay, over the last year or two he has worked part time at the Best Western, which is right on the lake that my dad lives on. Anyhow, my dad told me that last week he was watching the news and when Charlie Gibson came on, my little brother said, “Whooaaa, hey, I was talking to that dude last week. I said to him, ‘Dude… what’s goin’ on with all the cameras ‘n stuff?”. So, not only is he a Marine, he also rubs shoulders with important (biased) members of the media. Impressive, no?
If you’re interested in seeing what it takes to become a marine, check out this link. Pretty intense. Yikes.
In other news, have you seen this? It’s a really lovely publication. I have gotten a couple of issues and I like it. It has a great focus on practical helps and hands on ideas for working inside the home (and homeschooling). Good stuff.
I had something else to tell you, but I forgot. Ok, I’m off to shower and meet my excellent friend at the park. It is *perfect* park weather today!
Oh! I remember what I was going to tell you. Our pastor has just started going thru the book of Daniel. Ok, that is one interesting book. He has been going thru the historical / background info for the last two weeks. Daniel is one of the ‘most attacked’ book in the bible and is hotly disputed by secular ‘experts’. Our pastor has been going thru the arguments and defense of the book of Daniel and it is beyond fascinating. You can download the messages here. The first one will be dated Sept 7. Total mind blowing stuff.
Brian Regan is Hilarious. This post has nothing to do with him.
The mornings are getting cooler; I am SO happy about that. Ok, I have three announcements.First, It’s a boy!!
Second, some of you (or someone you know) may be interested in this:
Opportunity for Christian Dancers
Soli Deo Gloria Ballet, a professional-level ballet and performing arts company based in the Niagara region of southern Ontario, is actively seeking Christian dancers who can perform at a professional level and desire to honour and serve God with their art, serving on a short-term basis in an atmosphere of ministry and discipleship. We perform primarily in churches and nursing homes. Our upcoming tours will run from late November to December 14, 2008, and Spring 2009.
You can learn more about Soli Deo Gloria Ballet at www.solideoballet.com.
If you have any questions or would like to get to know us better, contact Carolyn Currey at 905-382-6036 or email us at email@example.com.
Lastly, a while back BHEA asked if I would speak at their upcoming ‘mini convention’. This year they are also featuring Linda Lacour Hobar, who wrote Mystery of History. I am such a huge fan. Anyways, I told them, “Sure, I’d love to be a part of things”.
And then I started thinking about it. And then I started obsessing about it. And then it started keeping me up at nights, so finally, and only giving them a month’s notice, I sent over a panicked email saying,
They were very gracious and we were able to work something out that will be much better. Instead of me standing up there babbling for 45 minutes, I found two brilliant friends who will help lead a roundtable discussion on the pro’s and con’s of different Homeschooling methods.
We’re going to cover Classical Education, Co-ops, Boxed curriculums with set lesson plans, ‘Charlotte Mason’ style, Child directed, Unschooling and Eclectic. Fun, eh? I hope some of you can make it and lend your advice / own experiences to the discussion.
Blount Home Education Association is excited to announce a day with Linda Lacour Hobar, author of the award-winning world history series The Mystery of History! We also welcome writer Jenefer Igarashi as our lunchtime roundtable hostess!
WHEN: Saturday, September 27, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. (Sign-in begins at 9 a.m., keynote address begins at 9:30)
WHERE: The Blount County Public Library, Maryville. Sharon Lawson Meeting Room.
COST: $5/members of BHEA or $10 for general homeschooling public
RSVP: You MUST RSVP for this event, as seating is limited. Please email Amy Brown at ARAJBrown1993@aol.com to get on the list and immediately send your check to her at 4050 Holston College Road, Louisville, TN 37777 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>. Your registration will not be considered complete until your check is received.
LUNCH: Will be brown bag if you plan to stay for the roundtable. If not, there are lots of restaurants in the vicinity. The library also has a cafe that serves desserts, coffee and other drinks
In other news, my daughter, Ryann, spent three days at our pastor’s house earlier this week. I can’t imagine why she likes it over there so much. Here she is climbing their chimney. Literally.
Is it just me, or is that weird?
Why I’m Not A Reconstructionist / Dominionist
Coie has been reading me daily selections from, The One Year Christian History, by E. Michael and Sharon Rusten (YWAM). You will not believe yesterday’s segment, but it’s absolutely true. I had to type it out. It’s well worth the time to read
Injustice From Within, Sept 7th
The Puritans of New England were great men and women of God, but they had blindspots when it came to accepting fellow Christians whose ideas differed from theirs. In 1651 three Baptists, Obadiah Holmes, John Clarke, and John Crandall, walked 80 miles to visit an elderly friends, William Whitter. At Whitter’s home the four men had a worship service together. In the middle of it, a marshal and his deputies broke in, arrested the three visitors, and escorted them to the Boston jail. They were charged with holding a private church service and re baptizing persons who had already been baptized as infants.
After ten days the three were brought to trial. The prosecutor was none other than John Cotton, the leading Puritan minister in Boston. The accused sat in the prisoners box and heard Cotton in his misguided zeal declare them to be “soul murderers” since they denied the saving power of infant baptism.
Cotton then declared that this offence demanded the death penalty as would any other murder.
Governor John Endicott agreed they should be put to death but also challenged the three defendants to debate their Baptistic views with Puritan ministers. They accepted the offer, but no puritan minister would debate them – including John Cotton who condemned them.
Finally, although the governor felt the three deserved to die he agreed to let them off with a fine. But if they didn’t pay the fine and leave Massachusetts immediately they would be publicly whipped.
Friends raised money to pay the fine, but two of the men refused to let the fines be paid because it would look like an admission of guilt.
Holmes was stripped to the waist and given 30 lashes. Immediately after the whipping, two Baptists, John Hazel and John Spur, shook Holmes’ hand as a gesture of comfort.
For their small kindness Hazel and Spur were arrested.
John Hazel’s trial was held the next day. Hazel, a frail elderly man, was asked whether he agreed with the actions of Obadiah Holmes in holding a private church service. Hazel answered that he would not be questioned about the actions of another and demanded to know what law he had broken.
Governor Endicott sent him back to jail. He refused to pay the fine and was kept and threatened day after day with a public whipping. They ended up releasing him because they did not want the embarrassment of whipping a frail old man. He died a few days after his release.
Can you believe that? I reject the Reconstructionist / Dominionist movement – which, unfortunately, is gaining ground in the homeschool community today. It is hard to understand how Christians let themselves get sucked into crusades to ‘zealously stamp out sin’. God save us from ourselves! Yes, sin in the church needs to be dealt with… but if it’s not dealt with biblically and properly it wreaks untold amounts of damage and drags Christ’s name thru the mud.
OK, in more cheery news, check out this beautiful necklace that Emmiko made for me:
And no, unlike Dip’s book, it’s not for sale. I’m going to have to cash in our retirement fund to pay that boy. But I have to say, you made his week. He has been absolutely jumping around with delight with how well his first book was received. You guys are so cool.
Lastly, one of my best friends is having her baby today. Please pray for Annemarie, and if you can, maybe stop by to leave her a “congrats comment”. I SO love that lady.
Dippy’s First Business Venture
My son, Dippy, is now an author. Here he is with his first book:
The Shouting Dad, Book I, by Dippy Igarashi
Dad shouted, “TOM! Clean up the rug!”
Mom said, “Tom, you don’t have to clean the rug. You get candy.”
Mom said, “Dad, go bend over the bed.”
“WHY DO I HAVE TO BEND OVER THE BED IF I’M THE DAD!?!”
Mom said, “Because you told Tom to clean the rug!”
“Since you won’t bend over, you have to go to the AIR FORCE”, said Mom, “and you have to give Tom ALL your money and candy”
Dad says, “Tom, stop messing with my real army bomb helicopter!”
Mom says, “Tom you can play in there and fly the bomb helicopter if you want.”
Mom says to Dad, “Now you have to go to the Air Force AND Marines!”
Dad says, “Tom! Don’t drop those bombs!” … BANG!!!!!
And then the Dad died, so Mom and Tom had to clean the rug.
I don’t know if Mom and Tom had to clean dad ‘off’ of the rug. He didn’t elaborate.
I told Dippy that I would put his book up “for sale” on my website and he will be paid one quarter for anybody who comes and reads it and then say they like it. Ok, so maybe it’s not exactly the most accurate way to introduce him to Economics and Capitalism but 1) He is really set on selling it and 2) I thoroughly enjoyed the book. You shoulda seen the pictures he drew for each page.
I just hope this book is not later sold as an auto biography.
In other news, Jess and Charley finally got around to posting their personal thoughts on Sarah Palin. It is interesting to read their perspective since they they’ve (sorta) known her and, as Alaskans, have been personally affected by her policies.
The recent tragic loss seems to be life altering for many of us. As one of my friends said in her email, “I don’t even know the family that well, so why can’t I stop crying?” She later answered her own question by stating that her tears reminded her to pray for this dear family and so for that, the tears are a good thing.
Several times I’ve read thru my last entry, one which was posted in haste after I first heard the news – it sounds full of doubt and almost anger towards God. I won’t deny it. I could almost feel my soul twist and my brain refused to believe such a tragic event had happened to somebody I love so much.
And I do stand by my prayer that I wish for God to come back quickly and once and for all end the misery, and potential misery, which is part of living here on Earth.
The book Desiring God, by John Piper, has been a help this week. I’m looking forward to reading thru it thoroughly.
Other news has happened over the week but I’ve not had the energy or the spirit to make much of it. We have had some very very pleasant things (the Carrs stayed with us for a week; we LOVED having them). Also, I’ve gotten some emails and comments asking to expand on my thoughts about the potential issues with 10 year old girls. I will try and do that in a later post.
Before I go, one bit of news, which I am sure Jess will post about in total, is about the new VP pick of Sarah Palin. My sister and dad and younger brother know this lady. They lived in the same neighborhood when she was mayor of Wasilla. She even went to their church.
My dad told me that five years ago (or so) my younger brother, who has always been very interested in politics, used to ride his bike down to the city council meetings all the time. One evening my dad secretly followed to see what the heck he did when he got there. My dad stood (out of sight) in the back of the room and watched the meeting, and then towards the end, Mayor Palin looked over towards my brother and called on him by name, asking, “Do you have anything else to add, Jimmy?” and he answered, “Why yes, yes I do” and then stood up to make some points about this or that. I think he was 14 or so.
They all went to Juneau for her inauguration as Governor. I think that’s pretty neat. And they all think Sarah Palin is wonderful. Apparently she is the real deal. I am actually looking forward to voting this November.
Lastly, Home School Enrichment is currently giving away a free download entitled “The Secret to Homeschooling Freedom: How the Self-Teaching Method Can Revolutionize Your Homeschool!” Good stuff.
Lastly Last, keep praying for Marsha’s family, let’s not forget her family, especially over the weeks and months to come.