More Bad Parenting on Display

I am *such* an awful mother.  Seriously.  It’s embarrassingly appalling.

 

So here’s the whole story…

 

Bobo and Dippy decided to play cops and robbers outside in the dark.  First of all, what sort of mother lets her kids play outside in the dark? 

 

But wait, before I go on, my husband specifically told me that he did not want to let the kids get a trampoline because Dippy *always* gets hurt when we have one.  So even though the trampoline wasn’t directly involved, I think it may still be to blame somehow because this happened two weeks after bringing that thing home.

 

ANYWAYS, I was in my room trying to figure the odds on whether Julie Austin will come to the Bloomin’ Fun Bluedorn Ball or not, when all of a sudden I heard shrieking and crying and wailing coming from the cage (that’s what we call the closed-in porch).  So amidst all the shrieking, my kids all start yelling at me, “MOM! STAY IN YOUR ROOM, YOU DO *NOT* WANT TO SEE THIS!!” 

 

So my elbows and knees went all oogelly gooogelly and then finally Coie came in and pronounced, “Ok, we need to take Dip to the ER.  He’s gonna need a bunch of stitches”.  Shudder Shudder.

 

This is when I learned that during Cops and Robbers, the Robber, i.e. Dippy, fell backwards into a big bush and ‘got it in the end’.  Literally. Which just goes to show that crime doesn’t pay.  He fell right onto a sharp stick and gashed his little butt cheek.  Good heavens, I’m feeling woozy thinking about it. 

 

So Coie – in her moose jammies – and I carefully laid Dippy on his stomach in the backseat of her car (Bo sat back there with him to hold the towel and ice in place) and we zipped over to the hospital.

 

They were pretty crowded and we had to wait.  The check-in lady said, “Just take a seat”.  Easy for her to say.  We went around a corner and had to lay Dippy on his stomach. Poor little fella.

 

So then they finally called us back (we all sorta had to take turns dragging Dip along because he wasn’t able to walk).  The nurse who checked us in chewed her gum like a camel.  I’ve seen camels in real life, and I tell you the truth, she chewed just like a camel.  Gross.

 

When we got back to our little room they realized that there were no hospital gowns in kid sizes, so instead of letting Dip swim around in an adult sized gown, they brought him one for toddlers.  Ok, this is where I lost it.  I thought she was kidding when she brought it in.  It was tiny…TINY, and not only was it tiny, but it had fluffy teddy bears and colorful beach balls on it.  Dippy was in too much pain to notice at the time, but when Coie pulled off his shirt and slipped it over his head, he looked down and was absolutely stricken.  The boy is EIGHT YEARS OLD.  Granted, he’s very skinny, but good grief, no eight year old boy should ever be forced to wear a teddy bear beach ball gown six sizes too small.

 

So, like I said, I lost it. I exploded.  I couldn’t help it.  I absolutely could not stop laughing.  And then the doctor came in – and I could literally not stop laughing. Believe me, I tried.  He kept trying to talk to me about my poor injured son but I was shaking and gasping and had tears streaming down my face, so finally I had to just flee the room and hide in the bathroom down the hall until I could get myself under control.  Good heavens.  The doctor must’ve thought I was a monster.  I still can’t understand why he wasn’t laughing.  I’ve never seen anything so comical in all my born days. Bad! Bad Mother!

 

In my defense, even Coie and Bobo couldn’t help laughing their heads off – they were just better at choking it back than I was.  Coie used her cell phone and got a picture of him in his little mini gown but my son absolutely put his foot down and refuses to let me post it. 

 

So anyhow, I came back before all the stitching commenced (EIGHT stitches!).  Thankfully I was able to stop cackling like a loon and was able to feign sanity for the rest of the procedure.

 

And the nurse was cool. When they were all done she asked if I needed her to write a note to excuse him from school.  I told her that we homeschooled so I’d just write a note and give it to myself in the morning.  And she actually laughed.  Finally, a nurse with a sense of humor; I’ve found that to be a rarity. 

 

Dippy is doing well.  But he has to forgo all of his chores and lay on his stomach all day and play Nintendo 64.  Poor kid.

32 thoughts on “More Bad Parenting on Display

  1. oh my goodness! poor little guy. and yes, 8 years old is way to old for a beach ball/bear extravaganza displayed on his clothing. 🙂

    8 stitches is a lot. I hope you gave him some of his favorite sweets tonight. It really does make things all better in my house. (working for me right now actually…)

  2. I never had that much fun in a hospital ER ward. I did get bumped to the head of the line one time when I had chest pains and the Chief of Surgery was the person who brought me into the ER. It’s great to have friends. Turns out it was pleurisy.

  3. My husband says, “Life is rough!” 🙂 Meanwhile, I’m ROFLing, and he’s barely chuckling. Thanks for tears rolling down my cheeks, too. No, my face — silly woman!!! 😉

  4. Oh my.

    All I can say is you should have pulled out Proverbs 17:22: “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” You were just trying some spiritual healing on the dear child. Right?

  5. Oh pour Dippy!!! We will pray for the healing of his, um, well, maybe well let this be a vague prayer for healing. God knows all right?! Hope he gets better soon. You’ve got to post those pics somehow 😉

    Megan

  6. okay, I know he’s not “pour” well I guess as a kid with no form of income he probably is rather pour, but I meant “poor”. I didn’t do well in English.

    Megan

  7. I love it that you had a sense of humor while in the ER. I love the line about the note! Now that is just down right funny. I think that boy needs a bag of gummy bears to reminisce the gown.

    And I can certainly see the rational of blaming the trampoline. (You know they sell nets that go around them.)

    Love to you all.

  8. Oh the stories that boy will be able to tell when he’s old!

    I’m glad it’s just a flesh wound in the bum. Although could there be a more painful place to have stitches? Agh!

    So did you snort while you were laughing?! 🙂

  9. Ouch that sounds horrible. What a brave boy you have. Sometimes nintendos and the like are really good to have. I hope it distracts him from his pain.
    We don’t have a trampoline because my husband says people always get hurt on them. I think he is right, but I have still wanted one. Fortunately the people across the street have one, so all the kids convene over there to do their getting hurt.
    Hope your son is back on his feet (or his back) very soon.

  10. That will make a great story to tell his soon to be wife, hahahaha! If it makes you feel a little better as a mom and a person under stress (like when someone gets hurt) I laugh! My son gets his pee pee hacked, laugh, my boss has a seizure, laugh-you should have seen the look on the paramedic’s face! It’s absurd when we ‘lose it’ isn’t it!

  11. just keep in mind: if you ever hear him telling some girls that he has a really cool scar and would they like to check it out, you probably want to intervene and banish him to the cage until he is 38….

    also, be sure he doesn’t use “checking on my stitches” as an excuse for mooning someone out the back window of the car.

    just some fuel for thought.

  12. HOOOOOOOOLY COW!!!!!!!!!!! (or is that expression politically incorrect?)… either way… HOOOOOOOLY COW!!!!!!!!!!!

    Now, despite your uncontrollable laughing, are you looking at the situation as an appropriate, veteran home educator– seizing every educational opportunity???

    What an essay Dippy could write…. “The Rebuttal of the Boy-Biting Bush”… “The Pros & Cons of Shrubbery”… “Why You Should Always Wear Padded Underwear”… “How to Avoid Embarrassing Situations by Teaching Yourself to Insert Stitches While Holding a Mirror with Your Toes”!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, how my English teacher heart is all a twitter!!! Seriously, I’m glad that he is on the mend.

    It sure is good to be able to surf blogs again a bit since son #4 arrived in late July. Between your snorting flash-backs of Dippy’s ER attire, I’d love to hear from you at my blog.

    Blessings,
    :)Michelle

  13. I’m glad Dippy is going to be okay!

    This reminds me of the time I was weeping with laughter just moments before I had to tell the kids that their guinea pig had died. I literally had to leave the house, I was laughing so hard. (not because he died, but because the Fay Ray scream my husband let out when he had to lift the poor, stiff guinea pig out of the cage, but still…)

  14. Oh My! That reminds me of the time our oldest had stitches in the same sensitive area. His came out twice because of the location, and finally the doctor gave up and said he would just have a scar there. I haven’t laid eyes on the wound in 13 years, so I can’t tell you the final outcome. I don’t think he was too traumatized by the whole event. Oh, but I do think he had the same bear gown. He was only 5 at the time and was mortified by the “baby gown” then! Happy Healing to Dippy 🙂

  15. He sure didn’t seem to mind all that nintendo and chore-skipping he’s had to endure when I talked to him earlier on the phone. Your story made me laugh out loud, as usual. And the fact that you laughed your head off when she put that gown on him didn’t surprise me at all. We Wright girls can’t control ourselves. I remember how much trouble I used to get in when I laughed when Coie used to get spanked right after/before me. I couldn’t help it. That’s just how we’re wired. We’re monsters. At least we mean well.

  16. Juss, I was thinking “What’s she talking about? I can control my laugh most of the time” and then it clicked–I’m not a WRIGHT.

    Emmiko is just like you guys. Only, SHE laughs when she HERSELF gets spanked (that is, when she gets a ‘mom’ spankin’, but those are ALWAYS funny because when Mom spanks she ends up hurting herself more then whoever she’s spanking).

    Righty, I’m bored. Time to go do something unboring.

  17. Oh my word! You are just dreadfull! But I can’t blame you – it sounds hysterical!!! LOL! Anyway, the nurse with the sense of humour helped at least. Poor Dippy!

  18. You are not a bad mother by any stretch of the imagination. My kids run around outside in the dark all the time. It’s just part of living this great life God has chosen for them, with a little encouragement from us.
    I think you get an A+ for getting him to go to the ER. My oldest daughter had an injury in the same place a few years ago and she refused to go let someone sew it up. Now she has an ugly scar. She still says it’s better than the alternative.LOL
    Have a great week.
    Trixi

  19. Awwww…poor Dippy!
    And you…you are too funny! I have had those can’t stop laughing moments myself. (Just recently – in fact when DH conked his noggin on a light fixture hung too low over a restaurant table. He knocked himself loopy – and although I should have been WAY more sympathetic and helpful – all I could do was laugh until I cried!)
    So if you’re a bad mom…then I am a terrible wife! ;-p

    I’m glad that Dippy will be okay!
    God Bless,
    Michelle

  20. At least your kids are learning to face life with humour 🙂

    Re: your comment — well, I am now totally stuck on the idea and will do all within my power to make it work. Even if a bunch of the older girls are working, I could probably drive out with some of the “middle kids.”

  21. Oh Rachel, that would be SO awesome!! make sure you send a ‘maybe’ RSVP so they can add you to the count. I wonder if we peer pressure the Lewis Family to also make it…

  22. Video games cure all sorts of woes, but I agree that a bag of gummy worms is well deserved for his tolerance alone!
    I always laughed hysterically when my sweeties were vaccinated.
    Sorry you only encountered one nurse with humor; most of us consider humor to be an essential part of the healing process. (Especially when dealing with an overwrought, loving Momma!)

  23. Poor baby! Why do I feel like this is some how my fault by your story? Years ago a friend of mine was reading a letter from me(that was back in the stone age when people used paper and pens and sent things in envelopes with little square things they licked and stuck on it… you can look it up on Wikipedia to find out more about this ancient practice) any way… her 2 year old at the time, walked out the front door and fell on a nail which went into his cheek. She sent me pictures and regularly reminded me that it happened when she was reading a letter from me!
    I felt guilty for years! The 2 year old is now 17 and is doing fine. –But don’t get any ideas that this will sway us to go to the barn dance in Ill. –Still I am sorry that you were wasting time thinking on that when your son lost his ability to sit a spell. Please tell the Dipster that we all hope he is feeling better and mends quickly!

  24. That’s great! My mom always laughed when I was hurt too. Everyone else’s eyes were filled with pity, but hers were tears of laughter. Thanks for sharing!

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