Another Fabulous Rosetta Stone Contest!

******* EDIT AND UPDATE – Thanks to all who entered the contest.  The winners have been chosen and were announced on the next post up.

http://jeneralities.com

Ok, so last year when Rosetta Stone let me give away a new Version III language program, it was a big big big hit. And now they are letting me do it again in celebration of the brand-spankin’ new Latin course that’s being rolled out this week in Version III!

Here’s how you enter. Post the information below (the paragraphs between the ***’s) on your blog – and if you have multiple blogs you can enter multiple times with separate entries. Don’t have a blog? You can still enter by “facebooking” the link to the contest here, OR email the info to your homeschool support group (or to homeschooling friends). Easy, yes? Make sure to include the link back to this original post when you blog and then leave a comment letting me know so I can enter you to win.

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Rosetta Stone is the fastest way to learn a language and has been the #1 foreign language curriculum among homeschoolers for a while — and you can WIN the *all new* version 3 Rosetta Stone Homeschool LATIN program… FOR FREE! This is the first year you can get Latin in the brand new Version III update.

This is a $259 program (and believe me it’s worth every penny!)
This is a computer based curriculum and Rosetta Stone will also include a headset with microphone, and a supplementary “Audio Companion” CD so you can practice lessons in the car, on the go, or where-ever! Students participate in life-like conversations and actually produce language to advance through the program. Rosetta Stone incorporates listening, reading, grammar, vocabulary and writing along with speaking and pronunciation lessons. For parents, the new Parent Administrative Tools are integrated into the program to allow parents to easily enroll up to ten students in any of 12 predetermined lesson plans, monitor student progress, grade completed work (the program grades the work automatically as the students progress- I love that!), and you can view and print reports for transcripts. Homeschooling a lot of kids at your house? This program is designed to enroll and track up to ten students (five users on two computers) and will work for nearly all ages — from beginning readers up to college students.

To win this most excellent Latin program copy these paragraphs and post them in (or as) your next blog post, and/OR link to the contest from your facebook page and/OR email the information to your homeschool support group – Then go to the original page http://Jeneralities.com and leave a comment saying that you’ve posted about, or have linked to, the contest. Please make sure the link works to get back to the original contest page when you post. And good luck!

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The winner will be picked randomly next week, and notified by email. The program will be shipped to you free of charge. You may enter multiple times by posting on more than one blog and by also ‘Facebooking’ the contest pg link and emailing friends. Submit those entries with separate comments here on the original contest page for more chances to win. Anybody may enter. And if there are enough entries, I may try to wrench some arms over at Rosetta Stone to see if we can get more than one winner. Grin grin.

And here is a bit of additional, non-contest-related Rosetta Stone news that you might be interested in….

I have also been allowed (for the rest of May) to offer my blog readers a special discount — $100 off by entering the promo code hsb59 at checkout if you buy levels 1-3 (of any language) regular price $549. This would also include 1-5 levels for Spanish, regular price $699. I’d also like to point out that Rosetta Stone has just (this week) begun offering Latin, Tagalog (Filipino), Vietnamese and Turkish in the brand new Version III curriculum. Pretty awesome. And another new thing is Rosetta Stone is now offering levels 4&5 for Spanish (and English). Levels 1-5 is equivalent to FIVE years of language. That would look pretty awesome on a transcript.

Lastly, Rosetta Stone is now on Facebook. Become a fan at http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/Rosetta-Stone-Homeschool/74459073912?ref=ts

Ok, that’s it for now. Good luck on the contest! Go post the info and come back here and leave a comment to enter. I know there are a bunch of you out there (especially you Classical Homeschooler types) who would love the brand new first level of Rosetta Stone Latin in the new Version III program… here’s your chance!

YAY for FREE stuff!

Texas is… Quite Hot.

Ok, so today was a good day, even tho I broke one of the arms off my dumb reading glasses.
…as if I wasn’t already nerdy enough.

We are in Arlington, TX right now. On our way out, our pilot’s name was Captain Kirk. Neat-o, eh? And not once did I panic, freak out, hyperventilate, or gnaw on Coie’s arm. I am becoming a total pro at flying the friendly skies.

Anyways, I hope we do well at the convention this weekend – I’m a little bummed because our booth is hidden way back in the back corner. They might have well just set us up in the broom closet. Aint no way anybody is gonna be able to find us way back in Yonder-ville. Ah, well. We shall still try and sell well.

In other news, here’s a picture for Jess

Here’s Coie, Me, our Gramma Nile (my mom’s mom), my cousin Beverly and my Aunt Dora. We haven’t seen them in over ten years. Dora was at Jess’s wedding. I love that lady. The whole group was a lot of fun and we had a real special time with them.

And lastly, since I miss my splendid kids, here’s a video that Ryann recently put together. It was a response to a funny little video that one of our friends made about his brilliant, over-achieving, five year old sister (and the kid is sweet and super cute to boot). Anyhow, Ryann figured she’d put something together about her own favorite 5 year old sibling. I think it turned out cute.

Ok, I gotta go. These ridiculous glasses keep sliding off sideways and I can’t hardly barely see a dang thing

Brrrrrr… Chilly is a Good Thing

Oh my heavens, I’m about to have a heart attack.  Coie, as I type this, is outside backing up the trailer so we can get our new Whirlpool fridge into the house.  And I’m just sure that she’s going to lurch sidewards and my brand new shiny appliance is going to topple over, bust thru the side of the trailer and plunk into the mud. I had to flee inside and blog to distract myself or else have an apoplectic fit.

 

Me and Coie and Ryann went to pick it up just now since Geoff the Great is still at work.  Coie called and found a great deal and we zipped over to Lowes (yes, Lowes) to grab it. I was feeling pretty proud about our big-girl selves, until the fellow who sold it to us wheeled it out to the parking lot and we realized that we hadn’t brought any rope to tie the thing down.  The guy was kind enough to toss us a ball of dental floss.  Apparently he’d just gotten off the clock and was in a big hurry to get home. He said, “Well… here yeh go” and stomped off across the parking lot.  I spose it wasn’t quite as thin as dental floss, but it sure was thin scrawny stuff.  No matter.  I am thankful for it.

 

And besides, we Igarashi girls are made of stern stuff (and when I say ‘we’, naturally I mean Coie and Ryann – I just sat in the suburban and listened to Mark Levin).  We tied it down something fierce and we *did* make it home without incident

 

On a side note, I’m convinced that God likes me.  How else can you explain that the VERY day that my fridge decided to conk out was the same day that Rosetta Stone sent me a check for our OH show?  Holy Moly that $$$ got here quick and I’m so so so super extra thankful for it.

 

Ok, I’m gonna go.  Once she gets the trailer backed into the court I might actually go out and try and help shimmy that brand new beautiful big 21 cubit foot box of frosty icy paradise into the kitchen.  Hooray for cold milk!

 

PS Stay tuned… Rosetta Stone said they may let me give away a brand new Version III Latin language program.  Wouldn’t that be awesome?  I’ll let you know soon…

 

PPS Me and Coie will be in Arlington, TX this weekend.  Any of you gonna be at that convention?  Make sure to stop by and say hi if you are!  And I’m going to get to see my Aunt Dora and Gramma Nile – I haven’t seen them in ten years. I’m excited.

Things That Make You Go WEEEHEEEHEEEHEEE!

 

Remember a couple posts back when I was screaming and ranting about my photobucket account not working?  Coie fixed if for me.  Gee, she’s the swellest.  

 

Look, I told you it was spring around these here parts and I weren’t lyin':

 

 

 

Spring. Ha. Actually, it now already feels like summer.  It was nearly 90 yesterday.  That’s way too bloomin’ hot.

 

And now since I can post pictorial stuff… Look, here’s EEEEMommy from the Cinci convention. 

 

 

I think I scared her, though.  Marshie was making fun of me because every time Angel came around I was like, “oooooh, you’s puh-retty”.  She IS though.  She was downright gorgeous. And I like her trendy glasses. Pictures don’t do her justice.

 

 

And here’s a picture of my pal, Julie Park.  I’m so nice to post this picture, especially after the monstrosity of me that she slapped up on Facebook.

 

 

She’s so deucedly tiny.  I look like an Amazon next to her.

 

All right, and here… here is a great gift that Emmiko, builder-of-all -things-fun-and/or-edible (or both), made for me.  I told her, “Ems, Mama wants a big big big swing”.  And 20 minutes later I had this:  

 

 

 

 What a lucky momsie am I.

Meatballs

 

I used a website called Truly Random Number Generator to pick our winner… and it came up with number 41.  So, yay for Kathy!  I’m glad she won because her nick name made me laugh out loud.  Catheter.  Good golly that’s funny.  Enjoy the show, Kathy.  I’ll send you an email to get your addy.  Thanks to everybody who played.  Some of you have got some pretty jacked-up nicknames.

 

So this last week has been a real treat.  Guess what my friend gave me?  Two kiwi trees!  My all time favorite fruit.  I love getting stuff.  Especially when it’s something I like or that I want. I have to admit, it was a better Birthday Gift than the Schwans Meatballs and Coconut Shrimp that Geoff the Great brought home.  Not that I didn’t love that, too…  I mean, really…how can meatballs *not* be considered romantic? Aren’t you jealous that *you* don’t own a Schwans Man?

 

In other news, I bought myself a present.  I just couldn’t resist.  It’s got all these nifty Indian songs that are just super excellent.  Here, I’ll prove it to you, but make sure you get at least 1:15 seconds into it, because that’s when it really starts hoppin’:

 

 

Admit it.  That’s the grooviest thing you’ve ever heard, isn’t it?  This song, and the second song on the cd (Ringa Ringa) are impossible NOT to dance to.  Believe me, I tried.  You can’t do it.  Even Coie was practically almost tempted to get up and bust a move with me.  But she refrained, especially when Ryann pulled out the video camera.  I am not afraid of the evidence my child obtained because I fully embrace my inner Funk and there aint nobody in the whole world who can out-dance me.  Cept for maybe this guy… or Kate Kessler. And Laurie Bluedorn.  Whatever.   

Lastly, congrats to my dear friends, George and Chris.  They had a little baby boy today!  And now Eden has somebody to grow up and marry (if one of the Lockwood boys don’t scoop her up first)

Big Time Neato Contest ~ Back from OH!

 

 

Ok, this is highly irksome.  I just got home from the OH convention (where I was nearly robbed or worse in my hotel room – my facebook friends know what I’m talkin’ bout) and now I’m back and dead tired but I’m composing this dumb post at 2:22 in the morning.  And why?  Why am I not sleeping?  I *was* sleeping soundly as a big fat snoring princess but then Geoff the Great woke me up about an hour ago.  And now an hour later, while he’s asleep and snoring his head off, here I am WIDE awake. 

 

I spose that’s ok, because I have all sorts of news to share.  We had a *really* super excellently fabulous time at the convention.  Plus, jealous you, just LOOK at all the people me and Coie got to play with:

 

We met Ryann’s friend Tess and her mom (boy is Ryann mad she didn’t get to come), Julie Park, Spunky, EEEEMommy, Amy W, Jen (Mrs. Incredible), Marshie with her crew Amy and Darcy, Christine Field, Jay Ryan along with his beautiful family, Kim Wolf and her gorgeous daughter, the Prices, Maggie the Magnifico’ and her crew, Carol Barnier …and I just KNOW I’m forgetting somebody really important.  Tell me if I forgot to list you.  I know Gina D was there but I never actually got to see her because I was busy when she came by.   

 

Anyways, on Thursday afternoon (our first day up there) we were able to get together with the famous Home School Enrichment publishers.  Ok… can I just say how much I LOVE the Lewis family?  They are so hilarious.  And they especially love ME because they almost got me to completely promise not to start blabbing their secrets (are you guys starting to panic? HA! I love the power I wield.  I bet you wish you’d never even told me…).  But no, I will be a good friend and be content to drop non-hints and teasers.

 

Alright. Moving on.  I mentioned contest and I meant it.  The Lewis brothers have been telling me for a while about some so-called incredible movie that was put together by this homeschool family.  And naturally I just smiled and nodded and such whenever they’d start talking about it.  So anyways, at the convention, it just so happened that this family was there as a vendor, so young Mr. Lewis brought me over for an introduction, and then the Burns family was kind enough to give me a free copy of their DVD.

 

And of course at that point I was thinking, “Ok, this could very well be dreadful but I will take it home and watch it with my family anyways”.  I mean seriously.  This is a homeschool family.  Not a slick Hollywood outfit.  I was envisioning two or three families running thru a neighborhood in Illinois putting on a play about King Arthur.

 

… fast forward to yesterday… I showed all the kids the movie cover when I got home and they were excited, because the graphics on the front really do look good.  So we set up the couches and laptop and got all cozy and set up.  Right off the bat I realized that no… we were not simply dealing with some hodge podge cutsie play.  This is a real movie, and it’s actually professionally done.  Me and Geoff the Great sort of looked at each other like, “wasn’t expecting this” and kept watching.  The first 20 minutes or so took a little getting used to.  Like I said, it’s *not* a slick Hollywood outfit.  That being said, I think it was better done than Flywheel and Facing the Giants.  Yes, I am serious.  And yes, this is a homeschool family that put it together.

 

My husband, who hates it when I blog about him (because he always gets phone calls from people saying things like, “so, how’s the inside of your arm doing? I heard your wife bit it really hard), anyways he told me that I had special permission to quote him about what he thought.  And for the record, my husband has a very critical eye.  But he was astounded.  He said he couldn’t believe the detail they put into the sets, the soundtrack (the soundtrack was amazing), the weapons, and the costumes.  The storyline was also really good.  REALLY good.  And the fellow who plays the bad guy in the movie is one of the best actors I’ve ever seen.  He stole the show. 

 

Here is a link, watch the trailer clip on the front page.  And then to win my own personal copy, which I will mail straight to your house, all you need to do is leave a comment telling me what some of your nick names were/are thru out your life.  Why nicknames?  Because this movie is called Pendragon, which is a reference to King Arthur, and I’ve decided that Pendragon must have been his nickname. That’s my whole story.

 

On another note, the movie takes place in 411 AD, right when the Roman hold on Britain was collapsing and all of Europe was falling into the Dark Ages.  The Saxons, Angles and Jutes moved into the area to seize the land for themselves.  The movie doesn’t necessarily go into all of that background history, but I just wanted you to know how smart I am.  I already knew the historical background because we’ve been going thru Bright Ideas Press Mystery of History for the last three years.

 

SPEAKING OF WHICH, oh my heck, I almost had a heart attack… guess what my friend Maggie handed over and placed in my sweaty little hands for FREE? She gave me the brand new Mystery of History volume THREE that I’ve been drooling over for an entire year. It covers the middle ages and it is SO beautiful. I LOVE THAT WOMAN!

 

And on the same train of people whom I like for giving me free stuff, I ALSO ran into Jay from Cleveland (I haven’t seen him in forever!) and he gave me a copy of his new astronomy book called Signs and Seasons along with a corresponding workbook.  I can’t wait to start that with the kids.  They’ve already been pawing thru it and it looks super.

 

Ok, it’s 2:51 now.  Hopefully I’ll be able to post this fast and get some sleep.  And I didn’t even go into my whole story about Geoff the Great and his new friend he met from work.  I haven’t met him in person yet (his friend, I mean, I’ve met Geoff in person several times), but his friend did come with me and Geoff on a date last night.  We were having a cozy dinner all alone at my favorite Chinese restaurant, but instead of talking to ME, my husband was text messaging his buddy the whole time to chat about what they had for lunch earlier.  Total dorks.  Anyhow, I’m looking forward to meeting him and his wife soon.  I just found out they read my dumb blog.  How’s that for pressure?

 

PS I am not proof reading this before I post it, so it will most assuredly have even *more* typos than usual.

 

Don’t forget to leave comments telling me your nicknames (or your kids’ nicknames) for a chance to win Pendragon, Sword of His Father I’ll do a random drawing later this week.

15 Things I Hate

In honor of our tremendous Government (and by tremendous, I’m talking about the size of it), I feel compelled to step out and write a screeching, shrill, high-pitched maniacal post, which has been brought on by wading through stacks of paperwork only to be later told our e-file was rejected. In all fairness, it was my fault (I typed in a wrong SSN), and yet the high-stress adrenaline that shot thru my veins after getting that notice put my computer, my windows, my husband, my hair and my children in imminent danger of being either tossed, shattered, battered, torn out and bounced off the deck, respectively.

So while my taxes *are* done, I still have a half gallon jar left of lingering wrath, so what better way to expend it than to write out a list of other things that also cause inexpressible amounts of non-joy. And what a lovely and biblical way to wrap up Easter weekend, no?

So, here’s my list. Feel free to add your own, because after all, misery *does* love company.

1) I can’t stand being told what to do. It’s true. I can’t help it. Generally if I’m told what to do by true authority (cops, my husband, God’s Word, etc) I will still submit, and even pretend to do it cheerfully (if I’m unable to muster up genuine assent), but in all other cases I simply don’t like it and usually accidentally go out of my way to thwart those who try to impose their will over my own. This includes Doctors, Nurses, School Officials, Librarians, Teachers and So-Called ‘Experts’ on any given subject.

2) I can’t stand it when my clothes are too tight. It’s unacceptable and it makes me extra wrathful because it means I have to go out of my way to eat less so they’ll fit again.

3) I can’t stand watching mothers screaming/yelling at their kids in public. It makes me angry. If they act like that out in public, how much more is spewed off in the privacy of their own homes? Mothers who do that look ridiculous, they humiliate their kids, and they make everybody around them uncomfortable

4) I can’t stand it when I lose my shoes

5) I can’t stand it when I step on something wet with my socks on

6) I absolutely detest being woke up out of a dead sleep by barking dogs

7) I can’t stand it when my neck and shoulders hurt

eight) I can’t stand watching bratty children scream at their parents because they want something at Walmart

9) I can’t stand trying to have logical conversations with people who are unreasonable.

10) I can’t stand being around phony people

11) I can’t stand living so far away from Charley and Jess, especially with little Eden getting here soon

12) I can’t stand it when I really really really want to keep reading but my nose and ears are sore because of my dumb glasses

13) I can’t stand seeing people get overly worked up about things they can’t do anything about – myself included. It’s so counter productive, yet it happens so often. I hate that

14) I can’t stand it when I hit the top of my head on something sharp. Am I the only one who almost goes into a rage when they get unexpectedly injured?

15)    I can’t stand being biological.  It’s disgusting.  I’d rather be assembled of metal, plastic and wires. The fact that all of my body parts are constructed of colonies of billions of living cells grosses me out

16) I can’t stand it when I run out of coffee creamer

Well now! I feel tons better. And I must say that I am really happy that my dumb taxes are done and out of the way for the year. I’m also glad that I have far more things in my life to be happy about than my dumb ‘can’t stand’ list.

Ok…time for me finish getting packed up for my trip this Wednesday. I really hope that Coie and I do well at the Cincinnati convention. I sure am thankful for this RS gig. And I cannot WAIT to see all the friends who are showing up at this particular show.

PS I still can’t believe Jess and Charley bought my plane ticket to AK for July! This is going to be the best summer ever

Who Did Christ Come to Save?

 

I have really been blessed with the church plant in Morristown that my family is a part of.  We’ve been going thru the book of Genesis (expository – line by line, chapter by chapter)

 

This last Sunday, Pastor James preached on Genesis chapter six (what a trippy chapter!), but afterwards since it was Palm Sunday he went thru the book of John in 12 minutes to illustrate who it was that God came to save.

 

Jesus first went to Canaan – to a group of party-ers at a wedding, and displayed himself with the first miracle of turning water into wine. He came for the merry. Odd, no?

 

And then you next see him with Nicodemus – a Pharisee – taking the time to explain how to become born again.  He came for religious Jewish men.

 

Next, he is witnessing to the woman at the well.  She was a Samaritan – a half breed – a despised ungodly tramp who had a seriously messed up life.  He came for non-Jewish sin-laden women

 

Then you see him with a Nobleman.  This was a man responsible for oppressing Jews.  Would the Messiah, the Saviour of the Jews, have anything to do with such a vile person?  Yes, he went to the trouble of saving the Nobleman’s son’s life.  He came for rulers and soldiers.

 

After that, we see him with a paralytic man.  This fellow could not walk.  He was passed daily by all sorts of people yet nobody would help him into the pool of water to be healed.  Jesus made this man whole again. He came for weak and lame men

 

And then we see Jesus on a mountain side with a huge crowd.  They were hungry, and he fed them.  He came for the hungry.

 

Soon after, a woman caught in the very act of adultery was brought to him by indignant prideful Pharisees.  In love and gentleness her life was spared and he told her to go and sin no more.  He came for whores, prostitutes and weak-willed women.

 

And then a blind man was given sight.  He came for the blind

 

And then finally, in John chapter 11 we see something utterly breathtaking.  In all the other accounts Christ comes for those who are low, very low, but at least they can offer something.  They are able to perhaps plead with him for healing, or could offer promises of better behaviour… but what does Jesus do in chapter 11?  In a perfect demonstration of who he is, he goes to the very graveyard.  Dead people can offer nothing.  Nothing but bad odor.  Yet Christ goes to the very helpless among helpless and raises Lazarus to life. He came for the dead.

 

It is not what we can offer.  It’s not what we can ‘do for him’.  He does it all.  Ephesians 2: 1-10

 

 

Jesus, the Messiah, is the light of the world.  The Saviour who came to rescue the souls of men.  There is no one who has sinned too much.  And there is no one who is too ‘righteous’ to be saved.  Remember Nicodemus?  Christ came for the world – that means there is no group of people who are exempted.  He came for them all. No one is out of his reach. And yet all are not saved.  It is only those who respond to him, who repent and turn from their sin, who fully realize they are incapable of saving themselves. It is by Christ alone, by grace, and thru faith alone that we have access to the Father.  This world is short – very short – compared to eternity.  Where will you spend eternity?

 

That’s a lot to ponder over during this week leading up to Resurrection Sunday

 

Thank you, Lord, for coming for us.  Come back again for us soon.

 

 

 

 

The Inhospitable Hermit

 

Ok… first off, just for the record, I’m mad mad mad.  I don’t like it when my will is thwarted and my dumb photobucket account has locked me out.  And I had so many pretty pictures of Spring at the Ig Farm to post.  Why oh why can’t the world just agree to revolve around me?

 

Anyways, this’ll just be a short post because my kids are waiting for me to take them to Bass Pro Shop to get their air tanks filled and to purchase a bucket of paintballs.  Bubsie is having a belated buddy-get-together for his B-day.  I hope it doesn’t rain.  I don’t generally have people over too often.  I’m sort of an inhospitable hermit, but I have to admit I am looking forward to having my friends (herher and her) over tomorrow.  If I had her , her and her TOO, then my whole best friend circle would be almost entirely complete.

 

The thing about friends (for me anyways) is that inevitably you need a particular ingredient to really cultivate and grow a truly deep and worthwhile friendship.  What is that ingredient?  Time.  It takes time. I think it also takes a measure of crisis or ‘need’ – something that causes the phony shallow wall to crumble.

 

I grew up as an Air Force brat so I became a wizard at making quick – but very shallow – friendships.  In the military you don’t stick around long, so you adapt.  I do not have any deep strong relationships from my childhood.  My husband is the longest friend I’ve ever been able to keep.  After we got married we plugged into a church and it was then I began developing friendships that had roots.  But I have to admit – those types of friendships are a bit intimidating to me and not always easy.  But they are so worthwhile. 

 

To have a true friend means they know YOU.  Not just the perception you are able to give… but they know you.  They get how you work.  They see your flaws.  They know your weaknesses.  They understand your strengths.  And the best friends I have are the ones who speak truth, who will not indulge me in bad attitudes or destructive thoughts.  They are friends who tell me to zip it when I start gossiping.  They also don’t take my momentary bad days and attitudes too seriously.  And what’s more, they understand when I’m having a bad day and they remain stable and calm when I think the world is falling to pieces. 

 

The most trustworthy, faithful, loyal, loving friend I’ve ever had is my husband.  He never fails to amaze me.  As I get to know him better I cannot help but feel overwhelmed at the amazing gift I have in him.  I pray I never take him for granted.  Nobody knows me like he does, and nobody ‘loves me in spite of myself’ like he does. I hope you have a husband like that.  I hope I’m a wife like that.

 

I much prefer being an adult.  I am just really thankful for where God has me in my life.  It’s a sweet time and I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and happy. And thankful. Very thankful.

 

I hope you have true, deep friendships in your life.  I know a lot of people do not.  I know this because I remember when I didn’t.  If you don’t, I hope that God will bring you a godly, like-minded friend.  It’s hard to reach out and get involved when you’re not naturally extroverted (like me).  But the gift of friendship is so lovely and so entirely blessed.  It’s a very sad thought of living life without that.

 

Dang it, I’m still mad about my pictures.  The tulips I planted last October all came up and I didn’t remember all the different colors I had planted. It was shocking. You’ll just have to take my word for it – they are miraculously exquisite.

 

Ok… I’m off to brave the world of overly large crowded sportsmen paraphernalia