Due to overwhelming requests, I’ve decided to post the infamous Tree Swing Debacle.

However, I have to say that something is seriously wrong with some of you people for wanting to see it. So without further ado, here is the Top Secret video of when I was slammed into the side of a mountain which ultimately resulted in my pants being pulled to my knees. In front of a crowd.  My daughter, Ryann, was kind enough to put it together for your viewing pleasure.  I hope you appreciate my graceful, flexible, ballerina-like, acrobatic moves. 

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August 29th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

The other night me and geoff the great had to drive to NC, so we took BoBo and Emmiko with us.  Boy are my kids weird.  I really like being stuck in a car with my kids… especially if I only have one or two with me.  The conversations are always interesting.  On the way home, Emmiko (who just turned eleven), had a very serious question, she asked me, “Mom, if you and dad were dead, and if Coie was married and lived far away, and all of us kids were left in the house all by ourselves, what should we do if the Anti-Christ comes over and knocks on the door?”

Yep. I am pretty sure that when the Anti-Christ is revealed and he begins his massive world-wide rampage, one of his first stops is going to be at my house.  Good thing she brought that up… I suppose I should start putting a plan in place.

A) Under all circumstances, don't answer the door

B) Don't stare if he has horns. I shouldn't think he'd like that very well

C) If he's offering free 666 tatoos, turn them down

D) Don't tell him that your parents are dead, just tell him that we're in the shower and that we'll call him when we get a chance

E) Do not feel guilty lying to the Anti-Christ. 

There, that seems like a good start. Let me know if I left anything out.

August 26th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

We are doing a feature in The Old Schoolhouse Magazine and I need pictures of three more homeschool graduates along with a 50 word message from the graduate saying what they are doing now, what their plans are for the future, thanking their parents, or just whatever.  If you know a homeschool graduate will you please have them email their picture and 50 words to me?  I need it, like, yesterday (i am stupendously bad with deadlines).  They can email me at JenIG@TOSMag.com , and they will get up to five copies of the issue that their pictures and message appears in.

In other news, sure enough….Gena's dumb old dumb dog had seven puppies.  I know you've all been waiting….the line forms to the right.  Go ahead and sign up below for your very own tremendously ugly puppy.  I thought that dog's last batch was unfortunate looking — but this batch wins the Ugly Crown hands down.  I will get pictures up as soon as possible.  I swear these things are half possum.  y.u.c.k.

August 24th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

I'm in Georgia right now.  Me and Geoff the Great drove down on Sunday night so we could have some TOS meetings with a couple of TOSers who live here (and near here).  So it is a 'working' pre anniversary date, buy hey, I'll take it! 

Since I've been in GA, I've remembered a few things….

Now, I'm not saying that all of TN is a large stretch of uncivilized back hill kooky country territory — ok, actually, that is exactly what I'm saying.  I almost forgot that large malls and stores and billions of great restaraunts in one easy-to-navigate area ever existed.  And everything is lovely and manicured and there are Starbucks and Paneras and Targets and Old Navy and Jamba Juices EVERYWHERE, i have not seen *any* trailers with 15 cars parked in the lawn , and there was not even one Big Danny's Cheap Bail Bond Huts in or around the city we're staying in.  It's like a very green, less crowded Roseville, California.  The only thing they don't have is a Chevys.  Anyhow, yes, I do feel guilty that I am such a snob.  I thought my inner farmer had completely risen up and taken over the 'old city girl', but I have fallen off the wagon and I am in Culturally Developed Metro Area Heaven. 

We'll be heading back to the farm in a few hours –it's about a five hour drive.  Coie was kind enough to hold down the fort while just me and Geo got away for a couple days.  We hadn't done that in years.  We almost didn't know what to do with ourselves.  Almost.  We figured out a few things we could do.  So all in all our Mini Pre Anniversary / Work Date was highly enjoyable.  Plus, we got to hang out with Sue and Brad Becker from The Bread Beckers.  That was cool.  They were lots of fun, and I got me a new Wonder Mill to grind up all the wheat we just bought up.  YeeHiggity-Hoggity-Haw!  I mean… ahem… 'delicate clap clap, how enchating for us, we're quite delighted'. 

August 22nd, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

**** CONGRATS! We have a winner.  I asked Geoff to pick a number between 1 and 43 and he picked number 1.  So congrats MarlaMom!  Email me at JenIG@TOSMag.com and I will mail out your new art dvds straight away.

*******ORIGINAL POST********

I don't know about you, but I am ready to be cold again.  Yuck, I haven't wanted to leave the house at all.  I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas and hot chocolate and Coie's famous Christmas Candy.

I think it's time for another contest.  I have a set of three art dvds from www.GettingtoKnow.com.  It covers Line in Art, Color in Art, and Shape and Form in Art. 

This is the company that puts Mike Venezia's brilliant art history lessons and drawing lessons on dvd and brings them to life. I highly recommend his art history series, and also his new Presidents series. They are tres' muey bien.

So, if you would like to win this set, please tell me either the worst, or the best, Christmas present you've ever gotten.    Or just tell me that you want to win.  It's too hot to think too hard.

August 18th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

Last night I could not sleep again.  I mean, at all.  I hate that.  But I am productive on those nights, so I guess it's not all bad.  I wandered around the house, cleaned some of the 20 pounds of blueberries we picked last week, wrote my article for the Spring 07 issue of TOS , went thru a bunch of emails, surfed news websites, and remembered that there is something lurking in my closet. My desk is about three feet from my walk in closet, and around 3:30 am a very loud, disturbing noise from my closet began squacking at me.  There is either a cricket, cicada or a rattle snake in there.  I haven't got my Tennessee wildlife all figured out yet, but whatever it is, it is L.O.U.D.  I hope it dies soon.  There nothing worse than an unidentifiable noise that you can't get rid of.

In other news, if you are in the East Tennessee area, you ought to come out to the Sevierville Homeschool Welcome Night this Thursday.  That's not what it's called but I lost my flier.  Maria Roy is the big shot organizer for that, so email her from her blog pg and she'll get you all the details (me and Coie ran into her at Starbucks last night.  She looked so pretty with her seven month tiny pregnant tummy).  It'd be fun to see you! Plus, Paul, Gena's husband, will be speaking on “Why Homeschooling is Not an Option”.  And if that is not a good enough reason…. there will also be food there.

I sure hope I can sleep tonight.  What do you do when you can't sleep?

August 16th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

A
little over three years ago (a week before James Carlton Blake
Igarashi) finally debuted, I remember lumbering in circles around my
deck like an overdue rhinoceros and telling myself, “Self,
in three years you’ll look back on this last miserable week of waiting
and you’ll be amazed at how weird the perspective of time is”

Three years later, I remember my conversation with my younger self and it is true.  How can one week last so long, but three years can fly by like a blink?  It’s a mystery.  Do you think heaven has time?  I
wonder, when I’m in heaven, if I’ll think back to this time in my life
when it seemed like He would never come back for His church.  But
just like King James finally came (even tho it seemed it would never
ever ever happen), I know my hope and faith are not in vain.  He HAS to come back because He said He would, and He’s not a liar.

Anyways, I love my little three year old, even tho he has definitely been the most challenging one (by far).  I thought Dippy was hard when he was two and three… actually, Dippy was hard, but now he is the most generous, caring, considerate, helpful, respectful, relationship-driven 6 year old I know.  So I should not be discouraged (or lax in my child training).  Kids are all *so* different.  Come to think of it, Coie was an absolute monster when she was three.  That kid was stuck up, and she lied like a little terrorist.  And Ryann has
always been good, but she used to be so loud and obnoxious and clumsy
that I thought for sure she would end up accidentally killing us all
with her long windmill arms and gigantic oversized feet (she’s grown
into them nicely, now).

Anyways, I pray constantly (beg constantly) that God will make them His.  I
know it's probably not the best of odds that all six kids from one
family will grow up to faithfully chase Christ with their whole being,
but I am begging and begging that it will happen.  All
six, every one, following Him and giving Him glory and teaching their
own children (and others in their lives) that the only worthwhile thing
in life is serving the Messiah, who will one day return.

As I conclude this, my three year old just walked into my room with
Coie's bottle of expensive smelling lotion firmly stuck upside down on
his fat little hand.  Yep, it'll be another one of those days…

Two of the Many Faces of James

Scary little guy, isn't he?

August 12th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

I must say, after hearing how gross you
people are from my last entry, I feel *tons* more normal.  You
ladies are nasty.  It was heartwarming, to say the least. 
Next time Geoff drops his head in his hands and is confounded by my
lack of domestic constancy, I shall point him back to my last post and
show him how lucky he actually is (i'll have to delete the few crazy
abnormal clean freak commenters first).  But let's face it, the
Pigs are definitely in the majority.  And majority rules.

In other news, it seems we've found Coie's future husband (thanks to Emmiko).  Click here to see a picture of him.  To hear all of the romantic details, click here

And finally…. thanks to Maria
(who emailed me the news of an incredibly great deal), our life just
got a whole lot easier.  I tell you the truth. It is impossible to
keep 10 acres mowed down with a push mower.  My daughter Ryann is
in lawn mower heaven.

Here's Geoff, instructing Ryann on the evils of chopping down parents or siblings while on the racing mower

Ryann: “Must I truly wear these goofy glasses and ear bonnets?”

 And the people we bought it from were the neatest Christian
homeschooling couple.  I wish they lived closer, I really liked
them.  So all in all, it's been a pretty good week.

August 10th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

I walked into my kitchen and my brain suddenly leapt  into the following chorus:
If It Says Libby's Libby's Libby's
On the Label Label Label
You Should Put It Put It Put It
On The Table Table Table

How the heck did that get in there??

Anyways, there is nothing nicer than clean sheets.  I always
forget to change my sheets until they get pretty grodie, and then I
wash them.  You'll be proud to know that today was one of those
days.  Actually, Ryann washed them, but the point is, they're
clean.  How often is one supposed to change their sheets in order
to be considered sanitary?  I spose I should change my pillow
cases, too.

Lastly, when Gena
moved in down the street I was glad.  But then I learned that the
landlord refused to let them have pets.  So that meant I had to
adopt Gena's dumb dog.  And guess what?  Her dumb hussy of a
dog is going to have puppies any day.  Is that not the most
rottenest sisterly thing in the world for her to do?  She will pay
for this.

August 8th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

I’m going thru a bible study with a few of my very good
friends.  We’re going thru a book by John
MacArthur called How to Study the Bible. 
I’ve been thinking about the following passage over the last couple of
weeks:

David was a man with a
worshipping heart, he said, “God I will
worship You on the basis of Your truth”  We
can’t truly worship God, no matter how meaningful that might be in our own
mind, unless we worship Him according to truth. 
In John 4:24 Jesus says, “They
that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth”.  You can’t devise your own means for
worship.  Like Saul, you can’t offer the
Lord a whole lot of animals that you stole against His commandment and then
say, “Well, I’m serving the Lord” (cf Sam. 13:10-14).  God doesn’t want self-styled worship.  He wants it according to His Word.

Wowzers.  I’ve been
thinking about that, and remembered the example of Cain and Abel.  Cain got really angry because he brought God
an offering and God found it unacceptable. 
Also in the New Testament, Ananias and Saphira brought an offering and
were both killed flat dead.  Their
offering wasn’t credited to them; their sin trumped any good that they may have
intended. 

I don’t know why I’ve been thinking about this so much, but
it has been on my mind.  I am nervous
about the church today.  Is it an ‘American
Christian’ trait to relate to God so flippantly?  Or can that be found in other cultures?  No reverence, no honor, no fear.  Yes, we are to approach Him with boldness –
Hebrews tells us that; we can be assured that He hears us when we pray and we
do not fear that He will strike us dead (unlike the Israelites who dared to
even touch the mountain He appeared
on in the wilderness). 

I don’t know, it just makes me really want to be careful and
sincere.  I want to honor God.  I don’t want to wrap Christianity up in
worldly garb to make it appealing. You will
not find one example of Jesus chasing people around and trying to make the
gospel message ‘easy’.  On the contrary,
look at what he told the rich young ruler, “Go sell all of your possessions and
then come follow me”.  And he did not mince words when He spoke
about eating His flesh and drinking His blood. 
It says that multitudes turned away from him and decided not to follow
Him after that.  He didn’t chase them
down to explain what He meant.  He let
them go.  He knew that only a few could
accept His truth, His way, the only way.

Anyways, that's what has been floating around in my head lately.

August 4th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments