Homework That My Dog Did Not Eat
All these bossy ladies keep giving me jobs to do. My heavens. Ok, I am ONLY doing this because I happen to like KRIS so much… but this'll be the last time. I got Gena bossing me around enough as it is. So Kris gave me an assignment, here it is, with my answers. I should get extra credit for this since I'm turning it in so early….
1. How do you greet people in TN? “How. Me come from Ca-Lee-Fornia. Me come in peace. Nice Mullet.” answer: I WILL NOT CALL IT POP, NOT EVEN UPON THREAT OF TORTURE. It is SODA, you hear me??? SODA!!! answer: Drive real fast answer: I always balance my groceries on my head like they do in Swahili-ville, but for the sake of my assignment, i will say…. a CART?? answer: i'm gonna guess orange. I look pretty sick in orange. Maybe I should re-think this move…. |
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August 19th, 2005 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 14 Comments 14 Responses to ' Homework That My Dog Did Not Eat 'Leave a reply |
on August 19th, 2005 at 1:30 pm
Vive Le Mullet!
Jen gets 100%, A+ on her homework.
1. The Mullet lives. I knew it. Plus, you get extra credit here for cultural sensitivity.
2. You are correct. Carbonated beverages are soda. Except when they're soda water – note continuing use of the word "soda." Pop is what you do to people who annoy you.
3. Green means go, red means stop, yellow does in fact mean go-real-fast.
4. Groceries go in a cart. So do small children. I keep looking for the "cute small kids" aisle, but I can never find it. Apparently everyone else has picked them all up before I get there.
5. I don't know the UT colors, but I do know the Rule of School Colors: which says that the likelihood of a color actually being your school color is inversely proportional to the likelihood you will look good in it. This means, in a nutshell, that the worse it looks on you, the better the chance that it belongs to your selected (or local) alma mater. Case in point: my undergraduate school colors were chocolate brown and sky blue.
Given that you might have missed the last one, but got extra credit on the first answer – I give you an A+.
on August 19th, 2005 at 1:31 pm
oooooo-kay!
Um, I hate to break it to you Jen, but the correct answer is "pop." Don't worry, it'll grow on you!!!
Q. — How does someone from "back east" greet a Californian?
A. — Oh my GAH-aaash! It's… like… SOOOO TOTALLY AWESOME to see you!
Be sure to make a good first impression down there in the Buckle of the Bible Belt! My friend from Oak Ridge, TN once explained it to me like this:
=> Southern hospitality can be summed up in eight words… "You're Not From Around Here, Are You, Boy?" (or "girl" as the case may be!)
on August 19th, 2005 at 2:25 pm
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The important thing to realize is, Nebraska colors are red and white, and must be worn every day, all day long.
And sorry, dearie, but it is pop. Not soda, definitely not soda-pop and not Coke, just plain ol' pop.
on August 19th, 2005 at 2:31 pm
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Hmmm………..that's a good start but I think you have some more homework to do. You got number 3 and 5 right. You didn't list the mascot but since I have forgotten what it is, I won't count it. (Oh, I don't get to grade this??)
Maybe it's only a Southern Tennessee thing, (I lived near Chattanooga) but all carbonated beverages are called coke. I went to college up north (in Virginia) and my yankee roomies from NJ made fun of me when I asked them what kind of coke they wanted.
Well, I gave you one answer. So now there's only two more! Study hard.
on August 19th, 2005 at 3:15 pm
Karen is right
It is called Coke. Even if it is Pepsi. My cousin's son works for Coke and this is part of their marketing magic hehehehe.
Actually, when I lived in Strawberry Plain TN my boss in Knoxville (a VERY OLD TN kinda guy) called all soda DOPE. Now, I didn't realize this and was quite concerned the day he asked me to run out and buy him some "dope." In fact, I was so floored that I asked the other secretary what was being done about his drug problem LOL! Oh dear, I have waaay too many TN stories. seeings how my daddy was from Chatanooga & all . . . .
on August 19th, 2005 at 3:19 pm
Ok, you FAILED … you better study some more!
KarenW is correct … you got #3 and #5 correct. The mascot for UT is the "volunteer" … now don't ask me what it looks like b/c I'm a transplant from Virginia and I don't care a hoot to go to a UT football game! KarenW is also correct that, here in East TN at least, ALL carbonated beverages are called "coke."
You better find out what the "cart" is truly called b/c NOONE will know what you mean by that 😉 … and to find out how to greet people in TN, I'll give you a hint – ask Gena, she and I have already discussed this 🙂
Kris
on August 19th, 2005 at 4:56 pm
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Jen,
I'm so glad you are out here in the blog-sphere…
you are just so darn clever!
Donna
on August 19th, 2005 at 5:01 pm
You crack me up!
Even in W TN, all cola drinks are Coke. Some waitresses will even ask you what kind of coke you want -even if they carry Pepsi products. We have a good buddy who helped us move though who is a Pepsi manager so we know call Pepsi by it's correct name and don't mention the competition! : ) You too will make sacrifices for the people who help you move!
If orange isn't a good color for you, maybe you can get a white shirt with the Orange T on it. Just don't be caught out of uniform. You'll also probably want to add a counter on your blog that shows how many days until "It's Football Time in TN". The Volunteer mascot is usually a Davey Crockett looking dude, but there is also the beloved Coonhound Smokey. – Gotta love that. Teach your children the words to Rocky Top and Dixie. You don't want to look backwards.
Yes there are many who still are wearing mullets and you can get away with saying almost anything by fluttering your eyelashes and finishing it with , "Bless Your Heart".
If people give you to much grief about being from California, you're supposed to say, "I know. I got here as quickly as I could".
You're gonna love it!
on August 19th, 2005 at 5:34 pm
You're just too funny!
Responding to your response to my response — you're hilarious!!! How do you keep it up? I'm glad I wasn't driving when I read that or I'd'a wrecked the car! Yeah, we know how it is, big family and all — we started coming unglued ourselves after the third baby. So very often the adults in our house are as silly as (or sillier than) the kids! I feel bad for those school kids who only get to have fun during recess!
on August 19th, 2005 at 9:40 pm
Good Luck Jen………
I am thinkin' here that cha need yurself a coon skin cap, a white Tshirt with flamin' orange "T" on it…and of course a mullet cut…….
and I don't care where all y'all are from it's…..SODA !
Good Luck in Tennessee Jen!
on August 20th, 2005 at 8:59 am
We moved to the Southeast from San Diego
There are so many great things about the Southeast, but you'll experience major culture shock over some things. You can email me for a pep talk if you need it.
In the grocery store you will hear such things as "Ma'am, is this your buggy?" "Honey, ca'an you scoot yur buggy over a leetle be-it?" Your buggy, is your grocery cart. It's called a buggy. I'll never, ever use that term. Oh, oops. I have promised myself never to say never because I always end up doing what I say I'll never do – I pray that I shall never use the term buggy.
Another thing you will find strange is how decorated everyone's house is. When we were in San Diego, most of my friends still had their furniture from college. Not so here, it is a BIG deal to have all new furniture and tons and tons of knick knacks all around your house. They have these really expensive knick knack stores in every shopping center, selling ornate jars, vases, candles, picture frames, pictures, flowers, stools, wall hangings, mirrors.
I'm glad you're moving out this way! I'm just a little south of you in Alpharetta, Georgia (about an hour north of Atlanta).
BTW, just so that i can have the last word on it – if I'm going to Federal Prison, you, my dear, are going to death row with no hope for a pardon.
on August 20th, 2005 at 9:14 am
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You are a hoot! Even though I'm about 10 minutes from the TN state line, my answers are the same as yours. I lived in OK as a child and SODAS were called "Coke". Weird, I tell ya! And a CART is often a "basket" around here. I never would have thought of "buggy"! And, yes, orange is a requirement. Even here. Nancy is right…go with the white shirt with a big orange "T". Or better yet, go have Nancy's son draw you a tatoo. I hear he's great! 😉
on August 21st, 2005 at 9:13 pm
You are going to make it in the south, Jen!
Thanks for the laugh. You have great humor about your life-changing move. I think you are going to love Tennessee. I have lived in the south almost all of my life, and it is such a great place to raise children.
And, for the record, all soft drinks in my area are called cokes, too.
Blessings! Tami
on August 25th, 2005 at 12:53 am
Jen's new look
Well Jen — probably the next time we see you you'll be wearing your orange UT shirt, pushing your buggy around the grocery store buying "coke"….I'm from Louisiana orginally — all carbonated beverages are called "coke" (and you can only get sweet tea) — and shopping carts are indeed called "buggies" Jeanie is right….