Your Normal Average Bland Non Confrontational Post take 3
Well, those last two posts were, uh, fun. So, um… how about those Oakland Raiders? Anybody want to talk about non controversial green bean recipes? The weather sure has been, er, atmospherically weatherish. I actually did really enjoy hearing everybody’s thoughts on courtship/dating/arranged marriages/ankle monitors. And now, for kicks, how about we discuss Family Planning and Ok, before I go back to a question from the previous post, I’d like to take this opportunity to complain. It’s October, right? Well not in TN. For the last week it’s been almost 90 degrees and this next week it’s supposed to be more of the muggy-hot-same. It’s like twenty degrees colder in Ruth asked a question about differences in opinions between spouses regarding dating. This is actually an easy one. And I don’t address this directly to Ruth, but just to that question in general. I would say to have rational talks with your husband and the ‘why’ behind his views. Tell him why you believe what you believe. And your odds of winning him over may increase if you discuss the matter in a bikini and over a plate of baby back ribs. Ok, I just had a visual of myself doing that and I nearly blew diet coke out of my nose. NOT a pretty picture. Seriously, tho, it is unlikely that he is going to force your kids to date. “That does it. I love you, princess, but if you don’t find some schmuck to take you to the drive-in by the end of the week, then I’m going to have to take your phone and computer privileges away”. Chances are he’s not going to actively push your kids into dating relationships, so that’s a plus, right? My advice to a Christian woman who has a totally different outlook than her husband (especially with parenting issues) is to simply use the time wisely to instill strong biblical principals in the kids without undermining her husband in any degree what-so-ever, and to pray her head off. They say “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”. You have more influence than you realize – and that is a two edged sword. It is imperative that we ‘mother’ with extreme humility and wisdom. We can never use our influence to undermine; rather it needs to be used to compel our children to grow closer to God and to build a biblically solid foundation that they can draw on when it’s time to make important choices. To say, “I try so hard to teach them what’s right, but then my idiot husband comes home and wrecks it all” is simply not true (I’ve known ladies who say things like that). And it may *feel* true … but do you not believe in the power of God? Do you think your sincere godly and virtuous efforts can be undone or overthrown? Do not doubt God’s Word. Commit yourself to the One who holds your children’s hearts (and very lives) in His hand. Do what you’re called to do and trust the One who is truly faithful. Respect and honor your husband. Teach your children truth. And know this… if kids ever hear the mom complaining or see them roll their eyes, or act in a way that says, “Daddy is dumb, Daddy is wrong” it’s doubtful those moms will be rewarded with any good efforts they think they’re instilling. And again, just to clarify, I’m not addressing this to Ruth — she may have been asking a completely hypotheotical question. But just in general, these are my thoughts on what to do when there’s a disagreement with our spouses in philosophy Lastly, I am so excited. I just got a TON of socks and underwear for my boys, plus the nicest church shirts ever. I *love* love LOVE hand-me-downs. Which reminds me, I can’t wait until A.T.I.C. (our homeschool group’s free rummage sale) If you’re in the area, I hope you are planning on showing up at the PS If you did not get a chance to read Short’s posts on arranged marriages, it is well worth the time. Very well thought out and thought provoking. Part 1 and Part 2 |
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October 5th, 2007 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments No Responses to ' Your Normal Average Bland Non Confrontational Post take 3 'Leave a reply |
on October 5th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
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Hi Jen! I just read the last two posts and really enjoyed them – especially the part about spying on the girl to make sure she's really nice and not just tricking you. When my kids were very little, my dad gave my husband a stick of wood sort of like a baseball bat only a little longer, and he called it "the boyfriend bat." We still have it somewhere and haven't had to use it yet. I think God has it all under control.
I had a dream about you and Coie the other night. I dreamed I came to visit you guys and Coie wouldn't answer the door because she didn't know who I was. Where do I get this stuff? Hope your weather gets cooler soon – mine's hot and sticky too. Karen (bensrib)
on October 5th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
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Dear Jen-
I have had very little blogging/computer time lately. I am sure that is actually a good thing.
I am looking forward to seeing you all at A.T.I.C. I think we have about 12 confirmed. A few new families and a few who came the last time .
Theres been a lot of controversial subjects being talked about this week. Isn't life fun!
See you soon!
Love,
Maria
on October 5th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
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I think the hottility factor in Texas is higher than in CA. That is why we love TN… too bad we don't live there– near y'all! We would have a blast.
As to ze dating issue, you are absolutely right. Sometimes when I think I am SO right about something (which means he is SO wrong), I have to remind myself that God speaks to me AND <i>He speaks to my husband!</i> It is not my responsibility to force him to listen to God– but it is my responsibility to respect and honor my husband– and his wishes– even if they differ from mine. See? I almost stuttered just typing it out! But it doesn't make it any less true.
This is difficult for women who think they are more spiritual than their husbands– which I have been guilty of in the past. Especially if their hubby's are of the silent persuasion– think lots, talk little. Some women tend to talk lots, think little (i.e. their OWN way only)– ditto on the guilty here too.
Yup, I am a work in progress.
Love,
Marshie
PS Go Coie! Go Coie! Go Coie!
on October 5th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
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Yes, the weather HAS been atmospherically weatherish, and I don't care if it hairlips the governor, I am standing by my opinion!
Myfriendconnie
http://www.smockityfrocks.blogspot.com
on October 5th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
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You *NEARLY* blew your soda all over my moniter and keyboard??? What's all over my moniter? It's smudged and……uh, actually I still haven't cleaned the mosquito mess I made the other day (I squished it and then got paper and removed it, but never actually cleaned it). Ok, never mind.
.
Anyways, I still haven't gotten over that mathematic trick ๐ It's just too funny to me. It got dad, too. And then Coie called and it got her. I felt SO smart because I knew a math problem that she didn't and it was SO SIMPLE. ๐
-AAE (that's my new signature I made up because Sami took my other one that I signed "ME"…so I just made it LOOK like it says 'ME' in a different way)
on October 5th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
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Congrats to Coie!
And for goodness sake, drive-in's??? Oh yah, you live in the South.. hehe "dates" around here consist of hardcore snowmachining and fishing trips.. seriously.
PS.. i'm tell'n you, if you'd just move to Alaska (by ME), you would have enjoyed this partly sunny, 55 degree blustery day!
Edited by jess4him on Oct. 5, 2007 at 8:45 PM
on October 5th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
great thoughts
I loved your thoughts on the dating thing. Thanks for always being so open and honest. I love it.
I also love the giggles I find in the middle of it all.. diet coke everywhere.. LOL
on October 6th, 2007 at 12:41 am
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You make me giggle and the house is so silent because everyone is still sleeping and I am pretending to be the Proverbial wife and be up before them so I have to restrain myself when I read your jokes ๐
I so agree with you…. Our husbands are the head of the home (whether they are actively pursuing the role or not) and we are the neck that the head rests on and has the ability to turn it right or left. You are so right about the humility and wisdom side of it.
Thanks for promoting my part 1 and part 2, that was so sweet of you ๐
Blessings to you all from the Middle East
on October 6th, 2007 at 2:31 am
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I have been following your posts, but at a safe distance : ) I grew up with my father and absent of a mother. His policy was pretty straightr forward:
"This house gaurded by shotgun three night per week. You guess which three."
When new boys (not boyfriends) were introduced to my dad they would laugh at the sign posted on our porch, and then my dad would quitly direct them to look behind the door where he kept said fire arm.
I loved the fact that my dad could be so frightening.
on October 6th, 2007 at 9:04 am
lol
You are too funny!
Hey…come on over and EmbraceYour Inner Weirdness on my blog today!
JoJo
on October 6th, 2007 at 9:29 am
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Thought you might like to know your blog is being talked about over here in Blount county. I was at a teen gathering last night and the moms were saying, "Did you read Jen Ig's blog about the ankle monitors?" So now of course I have to go back and see what all the buzz is about!
on October 6th, 2007 at 11:44 pm
Oh Jen
You are hyperbolisly hilarious! You also have missed your calling as a weather prognosticator! I can't believe you are off caffiene (check that spelling for me, would 'ja?) and are still as funny as you are. You are the energizer bunny of funny.
Oh, we will be doing the "pump-action rifle deterrent"effect at our door when the first "schmuck" who tries to date our precious rings the bell. You can bet we will have the "schmuck cam" on too.
By the way, haven't I told you in the past that "schmuck" is a very bad word? You need to stop using it so much!! Look it up!
Love,
Nancy
on October 7th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
schmuck
wikipedia.org "schmuck"
The word schmuck refers to the foreskin of the head of a ***** and has become common in American English meaning a detestable person, or a jerk. The word also means a stupid or idiotic person. In these senses, schmuck entered English as a borrowed word from the Yiddish slang for foreskin, (Yiddish: שמאָק, shmok), where it is an obscene term and an insult. In his famous cultural lexicon, The Joys of Yiddish, Leo Rosten lists the Yiddish schmuck as related to the Slovene word, ลกmok, meaning "a fool, an innocent, a gullible dolt."
on October 7th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
You are so right!
I totally agree about the mother having much influence. I believe God made us this way. He made us to be the care takers of the home & we have tons of influence over our children. (Even our husbands.) We actually must be careful on how we use our "power"! Oh, I wish I could remember the sermon I heard over this. (I think it was over the radio) I heard a comedian once say something like if we would argue naked- Our husbands would pay a lot more attention. (Haha)
We are finally in TN! Trying to find a house!
on October 7th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Oh, one more thing
I must admit I love hand me downs too. My daughter had an older friend–who would give her clothes at our previous church! She loved it. It was like shopping to her!
on October 7th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
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dear anonymous / websters dictionary poster:
thanks for enlightening us on the original meaning of the Sch word. I have to say, tho, that words can and do change meaning over time. Like the word "terrible". If I said "God is terrible" what would you immediately think I meant? You would probably think me a Satanist, but the word actually means, "something that terrifies". Likewise, I would not announce I am a very gay person. Why wouldn't I do this? Because the word has taken on a new meaning on account of the changes within our culture. I also still say "Merry Christmas" even though it literally means "Mass of Christ or "Christ's Mass" and is really, strictly, a Catholic term full of distinct doctrinal views that I don't agree with — but I still say it because it's meaning / definition has become so broad that most people no longer even know what the root is or what doctrinal significance it holds. It has a new definition.
all this to say, the word "schmuck" has been entirely redefined and is currently understood to mean "loser, lame-o, dunce, etc". So, that's the reason why i use the word schmuck and will continue to use it (even tho my friend Nancy always teases me). And I'll continue to use the word "terrible" with its current definition as well as the words "Merry Christmas" and "gay" with its current definition.
on October 7th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
another opinion
Jen,
First let me say that I love reading your blog. I am not a homeschooler so I don't have a blog here, so I guess I have to be anonymous. I happened upon yours by accident one day as I have many other interesting ones. As a Christian I do like to read perspectives from other Believers. I think we must be very careful in using words that are "of the world". Yes, meanings do change over time, but where do we draw the line? I would think that most words that are either now considered profanity, or at one time were considered profanity could be defined in other ways. I expect if we asked the rappers and many others, they would say that the reprehensible "F" word does not mean what we think it does. However, to many people it does, and I am reminded that although Paul believed that all food was clean, he said, "Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat……..". 1 Cor. 8:13 My mother called it doing things that could "cripple my witness". My personal philosophy and what I have taught my children is to simply avoid any words whose meanings may be questionable. Then they will never have to worry about their etymology. Just a thought. ๐
Blessings,
Lynn
on October 7th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
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This post has become much like typical conversations around our house…"How did we get onto THIS subject anyway….?!"
My two cents on "words"…It's always nice to know what words, or whatever else, may offend someone, so as not to intentionally offend them…That said, I had to learn to NOT be offended when people used words that I'd always considered profane…I married a man w/ a dear, sweet Italian Nana…who had a coarser way of speaking. ..Of course, that doesn't mean I had to talk that way, or start thinking that the coarse words she used were even okay…but it did make me realize that even in our country, let alone once one gets into cultures outside America, words mean different things to different folks.
And…..I'm realizing that some words that were considered coarse when I was young (I'm almost 40), are beginning to fade in "evilness" and take on new meaning…(I still don't say them, or let my kiddos).
Mrs. Jen…your blog is one of my favorites…Appreciate so much you taking the time to encourage and teach!
Mrs. M.
on October 8th, 2007 at 11:45 am
weather, global warming, etc.
Yes, Jen! It sure is hot down in the Beautiful South. Having been a southern gal my whole life (with certifiable Confederate soldiers on my mother's side to boot!), I have gotten sort of used to the sultriness. But back to the weather; this whole "global warming" thing has me thinking, 'what's going on here?' The scientific studies showing the correlation of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and rising temperatures prove alarming! Hubby and I are already contemplating running our household in a "sustainable" way (solar energy, wind energy, vegetable oil, etc.). What do you ladies think?
Are those liberals just shoving that propaganda down our throats, or is there some validity in the "scientific" studies?
Also- Jen- I love your thoughts on not "undermining" our husbands. If I start to get a little too big for my britches, all my husband has to do is shoot me "the look" and then I know he means business. Of course, he's been very careful not to let the children see his correcting of their mother. But, you know, if they see, they see. Better they learn now!
And by the way, go Coie!
Learning, Growing, and Exploring in His name,
Pam
on October 8th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Hot in TN
Okay, Jen, your comments on the hottility factor in my possible future home doesn't inspire me to move!! ๐ Then again, it wasn't a whole lot cooler here in Arkansas…we are headed for a cool-down though–woohoo!! Take care…
on October 8th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
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Jen,
That sounds like the coolest rummage sale ever!
(…and another great reason why I wanna' move down there!)
BIG congrats to Coie for her test results, too!!!
Blessings,
Michelle
on October 8th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
Whew!
I am so glad that Anony stepped up and said who she was because I would never use a dictionary against you! That comment post was just a bit to close in proximity to yours truly's.
LOL
Love,
Your gay, terrible friend, (Mostly just terrible, ask my kids!)
Mrs. B.
on October 9th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
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I know–it is stinky hot, isn't it? I'm from Maine–when the leaves fall, the temp is supposed to fall too! YUCK!
BTW we changed our minds are planning to go/are signed up for the barn dance. See you soon!
on October 10th, 2007 at 10:03 am
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Jen,
Thank you for answering the question. I think what you said was wonderful. For years while I was married, I had never heard of any of this. I always thought I was more spiritual than my husband and that I should tell him just how wrong he was about so many things. It was only in the last couple of years that I even heard of truly submitting to my husband and allowing him to lead our family. Even after attending a well known marriage conference, I walked away thinking how much better I was than my husband. I can still remember the talk the wives had on the submission "issue". It was nothing like the Bible says. I am just glad that I am learning the truth now. I am glad to have the book "Created to be His Help Meet" and wonderful Godly women who are living the way the Bible tells us to. Jen, you have been one of these women and I so appreciate all that you share here with us. You have been a blessing.
Blessings,
Ruth