Jeneric Jeneralities ~ by JenIG
November 20th, 2005
Things I Am * Not * Thankful For

Being the week of
thanksgiving and all, I figured that tradition mandates some sort of
thankfulness discussion.  This is an imposition for several
reasons.  First of all, I don’t appreciate feeling obligated to satisfy tradition for tradition’s sake.  Second of all, I am forever constantly incessantly relentlessly persistently babbling about how blessed I am.  Dedicating One Day to be thankful seems backwards to me, since thankfullness should already be built in as a lifestyle and character trait.  So, as an expression of my non conformist disposition I am submitting a What I Am Not Thankful For list.  Feel free to add anything I missed.

 

I am not thankful for my bathroom scale.  It bothers me.  And it’s a dirty liar

 

I am not thankful for my over abundance of hair.  I
am not thankful for the hair on my chin, or my legs, on my big toes, or
for my bushy caterpillar eyebrows or for all the other places you don’t
want to know where I’m sprouting.

 

I am not thankful for how squishy my sides are.  Whenever I cross my arms I do not want to feel the gooze seeping thru my fingers under my ribcage.

 

I am not thankful for stretch marks.  I
know all sorts of sweetie-sprinkled angelic mothers who say that their
stretch marks are precious reminders of their beloved children.  I am not saying they aren't telling the truth, but I think they are total liars

 

I am not thankful for the times I cannot find my toenail clippers.  I have nearly severed my own ankles off with my ferocious overgrown toe-talons.  I am not thankful for the times I’ve had to resort to using scissors or teeth (mine or others) to de claw myself.

 

Love Jenefer Igarashi, Whose Anniversary Is Today On This Glorious Twentieth of November

November 20th, 2005 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

No Responses to ' Things I Am * Not * Thankful For '

Subscribe to comments with RSS

  1. gottsegnet said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 11:49 am

    Untitled Comment

    Happy Anniversary!

    Poor Jen…so much can be learned from adversity! And although it runs contrary to your contrarity, I am thankful that your list here is about as much adversity as we face in this nation of ours…at least at the moment.

  2. Anonymous said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 11:50 am

    Happy Anniversary!!!!

    Happy Anniversary,

    Happy Anniversary,

    Happy Anniversary

    Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapy Anniversary!

    Be glad you can't hear me 'squeaking IRL'. hee hee

    Love,

    Amy

    Edited by MySmokyMtnHomeschool on Nov. 20, 2005 at 9:50 AM

  3. Titus2woman said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 12:15 pm

    Untitled Comment

    HA HA HA HA HA! I am really enjoying your blog and cannot believe the sweet comment you left on mine! WOW! *HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!* and I’ll be back to check your updates! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

  4. Anonymous said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 1:00 pm

    Happy Anniversary to you!

    and Geoff, of course. Aren’t you glad you will be spending doing TOS stuff thanks to that curly-headed monster with the beautiful blue eyes?

    hee-hee-hee

    Older sisters ROCK!!!!!!!!!

    ~your soon-to-be-famous friend

  5. DreweLlyn said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 1:07 pm

    🙂

    Happy anniversary!!!!!!!

    ~ Drewe Llyn

    (P.S. Hope you find those toenail clippers.)

  6. SlackerMom said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 1:09 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Happy anniversary!

  7. MySmokyMtnHomeschool said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 1:19 pm

    Re: Toe Nail Clippers….

    perhaps you should let Julie know you need them, then she can make a trip to the local Dollar Store for you.

    jaksjd fkha sdfjl/ ashdkf hajshdf;

  8. TNMOMTO5BLESSINGS said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 1:46 pm

    I disagree with Amy Beth

    Amy Beth – I must disagree. I saw what Julie got from the dollar store and that was one trip too many fkdhfkdhfdaskhfhdsa

    Happy Anniversary to Jen and Geoff!

    Maria

  9. Donnabooshay said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 2:03 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Happy Anniversary, O hairy one!

    One good thing about age….I hear your eyebrows thin as your age :o)

    I think your hubby is lucky to have a wife who loves to laugh!

    It makes for a joyful ride!

    Donna

  10. TC said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 2:25 pm

    About that hair…

    You will know you are officially menopausal when you and your son both grow your first mustaches.

    I don’t have stretch marks (neener neener) but I’ve got an abundance of side gooze (which in men is called “love handles,” but in women it’s just “fat”).

  11. MotherJoy said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 6:47 pm

    Fat Wagon

    Right here with ya on the fat wagon…you don’t want to know. Also, the hair thing is pretty gross as we get older…should I say chin-hair? Funny post, cool blog! Thanks for the comment on mine! I’ll be back.

    Beth

  12. CoffeeAndAMuffin said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 8:27 pm

    Untitled Comment

    I would just like to be able to SEE my eyebrows! At least you can SEE yours! 😛

  13. Anonymous said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 8:43 pm

    I love your writing style!

    Jen,

    I love to write and I admire your writing style… it is similar to my own, only much better!

    And while I am at it “TAG, You’re it!” For instructions on how to play see my latest blog entry (entitled “TAG”, of course)!

    Christina

    http://quietcajun.blogspot.com

  14. DiWilliams said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 8:55 pm

    4 Things

    1. Happy Anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    2. I am not thankful for the big stinky flying roaches we have in Florida

    3. I am SO sorry for stealing your idea out of your head … I didn’t know I was capable of doing that!

    4. I can’t believe I won! I finally won something on HSB! What’s my prize? 😉

    Blessings ~ Diane

  15. drewsfamilytx said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 9:12 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Hey, if you can de-claw your toe-talons with your own teeth then you are definitely not fat and you’re much more limber than I am!!! And at least you have eyebrows…I have to brow-powder mine in.

    You should print out this magnificent list and give it to Geoff as an anniversary card…sort of a reminder of all the reasons why he loves you so!

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOUUUUUUU!!!

    Marshie

  16. ClassicalEducation4Me said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 9:17 pm

    Hey Sweetie!

    I’m so sorry that you weren’t feeling well today on your anniversary … I am very thankful for *YOU* sweet Jen! You make me smile and belly laugh because you are so honest on your blog – I hope you get to feeling better soon – wish you could have gone to Dollywood today! We had a good time with Emmi and Ryann (it was me and Jim and 8 kids riding the roller coasters!) … they are sweet children! See you tomorrow night!

    Kris

  17. lazearbeam said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 9:46 pm

    Well, if your scale lies and your sides are squishy…

    and I have met you in person, then I’m really in trouble. Its a good thing I don’t have a scale right now. When I go to Joelle’s I want to destroy hers but it isn’t my property so I don’t. I’m squishy everywhere. One good thing about it is that my little ones like me squishy and my husband does not criticize me. He’s squishy, too, though (oh yeah, those are love handles – right!).

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! I still have an hour and a quarter to wish you one. (My hubby hogged the computer today to do a BIG paper for one of his classes. It was 12 pages LONG and I had to proof and edit it. I’m hoping and praying he gets all 100 points for it. I think it is VERY good!)

    Love and shalom,

    Serena

  18. tn3jcarter said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 9:51 pm

    Happy Anniversary

    I think that you got a keeper with ol’ Geoff the great and those great kids of yours. It was great to meet you all. I’d say something totally flattering about you too, but you’d deny it so I’ll save my words.

    However…. in the spirit of what I am NOT thankful for is sneaky horses who seem to have been studying Houdini while I was gone. Everyday while I was gone, a horse or two got out. Everyday Tony & Joe thought they fixed the hole. Even as I was driving home today, my hubby called to warn me that they were out again. Fortunately the horses have been caught, sufficiently scolded and grounded to their stalls until we can check it out again tomorrow.

    I do not appreciate sneaky horses or fences with holes. It gave me that sick in the pit of my stomach feeling.

  19. DandelionSeeds said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 10:21 pm

    Uber-Unbelievable…

    Your blog never ceases to amaze me (and gross me out!). You know… you warned us when sharing some of your past, but for some reason, you willing and unabashedly share that you eat your toe nails… is there something wrong with this? Ge-e-e-e-e-na… where are you? Help me out on this one!

    So, I’m running a contest on my blog, although not as cool as the ones you do (but I just don’t have the connections)… but I figured with your imagination for name-calling, that you’d be really great at it, so stop by and make me feel better… especially after that toe chewing thing… I mean, don’t you get fungus in your mouth or something? You must have some uber-powerful mouthwash… or is Geoff a toenail chewer too? You know, I could see that… I’m sure that’s what you’re doing right now huh… anniversary toe chewing… is that like foreplay? Nevermind… I’m so sorry I asked… void that last sentence…

    Love ya!

    Your “nutpickle” (and I’m seriously going to start a group)

    Amy

  20. DandelionSeeds said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 10:23 pm

    Why yes…

    I did intentionally italicize that entire post except the first few words… as;dlkfja;sldkfja;lkjf;asljdfa;lskdfj (whoops)

  21. Dalyn said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 10:37 pm

    Untitled Comment

    I’m not grateful for sag-bags. That’s what I got instead of stretch marks.

    I’m not grateful for hair growing in the wrong places, either, but I am grateful I’m not a guy and growing it out my nose and ears instead of my head.

    I’m not grateful for coyotes, nor for holiday food that I love but makes me fat. (ter)

  22. TOSPUBLISHER said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 10:42 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Ew, gross, you hairy turkey curdle. What a sick thing to blog about. And on your anniversary, even. I should talk; I forgot to even WISH you a happy anniversary. Sorry!!!! You’re still a big toe curdle. Andie is making breakfast – homemade donuts at the cabin. Be there by ten if you want that and coffees. Susan is helping. Read my blog comment; she’s my new sister now. I am so happy Nellie Olsen is NO LONGER MY SISTER.

  23. Dalyn said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 10:46 pm

    Untitled Comment

    This comment had to be different- can’t say “Have a blessed anniversary” in a negative “i’m not thankful for…” comment.

    So…Happy Anniversary, Jen!

  24. mctenpenny said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 11:08 pm

    Happy Anniversary…

    Hope you had a great one!

    As for ungratefullness – I am most assuradly (sp?) ungratefull for the sock balls that end up in my laundry every day – you know – that thing that happens when children and husbands are too lazy to shake out the sock they just took off before tossing it toward the laundry hamper and missing….

    and in the spirit of hairyness – be glad the hair is on your chin, where you can see to pluck it instead of in your ear like those wonderful husbands of ours! Think of the hairy monsters they would become without us to “de-hair” them???!!!

  25. julie said,

    on November 20th, 2005 at 11:15 pm

    I'm back home in good ole Illinois…

    I’m home..I’m home..I’m home…and I know I didn’t call and let you know I made it ok, but I couldn’t stop kissing my hubby and my kids long enough! I will blog all about the TN adventures soon enough…stay tuned….

    Now…about that hair stuff…I bought you some razors at the Dollar Store so you should be in good shape…do I really need to return and buy you some toenail clippers and tweezers???? Geesh…the things I have to do to keep you lookin’ good for your man….He owes me BIG TIME!

    BTW — Happy Anniversary!!! And thanks for fixin’ me a breakfast of oatmeal & coffee on your wonderful day of celebrating 12 years of marriage…

    Oh…and give those kids a big ole hug from Miss Julie — I’m missing them already :o(

  26. gottsegnet said,

    on November 21st, 2005 at 1:21 am

    Untitled Comment

    ok, don’t really know what I’m doing back here again, but that I thougtht of something I am NOT thankful for, and you can’t make me. I am not thankful for voice activated menus on the telephone. I get bumped all over the menu…recent conversation…”for accounting, press or say 1, for…” “(me) put that down.” “(phone): Transferring you to billing.” “(me) I don’t want billing.” “(phone) please speak you seven digit account number” “(me) don’t hit your brother” “(phone) I heard 7839204. Is that correct.” I lost my temper and yelled very not nice things at the telephone. I was extra not happy because it responded so politely and transferred me to a real person. I don’t like being rewarded for my bad behavior, and I’m positive that one was recorded for training purposes.

  27. Anonymous said,

    on November 21st, 2005 at 4:19 am

    Not thankful

    I am not thankful for the fax spammers who somehow got our home phone number on the FAX list, and send us lovely stock advice or vacation getaway offers at 2 a.m.

    Edited by GogoMama on Nov. 21, 2005 at 2:23 AM

  28. crewchief said,

    on November 21st, 2005 at 2:37 pm

    OK wait a second

    This is actually more a comment to Gena’s comment…Andie made doughnuts this morning? POUT. I should have stayed! Of course, I am munching on delicious potstickers/gyosa. So, I’ll just duck out here. Never mind.

    Oh, Happy Anniversary Jen & Geoff!

  29. lynan said,

    on November 21st, 2005 at 2:44 pm

    Happy Anniversary (belated wishes that is)

    You can be my sister…..

  30. EssenceofPrimrose said,

    on November 21st, 2005 at 4:06 pm

    You asked on my blog…..

    How old I was, I am 17. 😀 Hope that settles everything..

    and you are right about the scales, they are definetly liars.

  31. HappyApple said,

    on November 21st, 2005 at 6:26 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Happy Anniversary!! (belated!)

    I hope you two had a wonderful time!

    Di

  32. PatriciaWHunter said,

    on November 21st, 2005 at 10:36 pm

    Awww…..

    I’m so sorry I missed wishing you a happy anniversary, dear Jen! I pray that God blesses both of you for years to come. Love ~ Patricia

  33. Confessor said,

    on November 22nd, 2005 at 8:28 am

    Happy Nannerversary!

    I’m not thankful for the word “gooze”. Yuck!

    And, just for the record, there is no hair in my ears for me to be not thankful about. If I can’t see it, it isn’t there!

  34. BeccaLoo said,

    on November 23rd, 2005 at 12:33 pm

    I'm not thankful for….

    I’m not thankful for screaming babies and brothers. I’m thankful for the kids themselves but why did God give them the ability to scream?

Leave a reply