Jeneric Jeneralities ~ by JenIG

My mom was one of those people, the ones who did everything
anyone asked her:

 “Can you come over
and help me clean my house since I’m sick?” 

“Can you bake 47000 cookies for the Christmas talent show?”  “sure!”

“Can you babysit my horrid screaming son for seven hours
while I shop?”  “sure!”


She never said “no” to anyone (including to us beastly children
– which was one of the reasons why we were so beastly).  I think she just wanted people to like
her.  But she always complained at length
about being “the type of person who just can’t say no”


It bugs me when I hear people say that.  I have no problem saying no.  Most the time, people just say “ok” when you
tell them no.  I don’t say no to
everything, just when I should.  The
worse case scenario would look something like this:


“Hey Jen, if you’re coming to the Church Christmas Banquet
can you help watch the two year olds?”






“Why can’t you?”

“Well I could, but I
don’t want to”

“Why not?”

“Why are you asking?”

“Um. Because, I uh… Are you mad?”

“Mad? What? Why in
the world would you think that? No I’m not mad. 
What a silly question”

Awkward silence

Me, smiling amiably: “So
tell me what you and your husband did for your anniversary?”


And that’s that.  Even
the worse case scenario is totally no biggie. 
So, the moral of the story is: if you tell everybody that you can do
everything then go ahead and do everything and love doing it all, but then don’t complain
to everybody else that you’re the type of person who can’t say no.  Believe me, the ones asking you would rather
have you say “no”.   Try it. You’ll like



November 25th, 2005 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

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  1. Confessor said,

    on November 25th, 2005 at 9:48 am

    I won't!

    No! You can’t make me go saying “No” to everyone! I won’t do it!

    Oh, wait…


    Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

  2. vgarr said,

    on November 25th, 2005 at 11:55 am


    Me too.

    So before you ask, No!


  3. CAgirlwithasoutherndrawl said,

    on November 25th, 2005 at 12:42 pm

    Right on, sista

    preach on ‘cuz I’m amenin’ ya

    ~your uber-favorite friend whose house you won’t be at tommora

  4. jayfromcleveland said,

    on November 25th, 2005 at 12:56 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Awright, so what happened at Grandma Sally’s to bring this on?

    BTW, if you’re not one of these passive/aggressive people who can’t say NO, then you really should get Bobo involved in Cub Scouts. Scouting survives on people who can’t say NO, and as a Scout Mom, you’d get three or four chances a week!

  5. Titus2woman said,

    on November 25th, 2005 at 2:01 pm

    Untitled Comment

    I wanna be JUST LIKE YOU! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

  6. juliepersons said,

    on November 25th, 2005 at 2:19 pm

    I know!!!

    I am learning how to say no every day!

    thanks for the inspiration!


  7. tn3jcarter said,

    on November 25th, 2005 at 2:43 pm

    Good answers Jen!

    I have learned to say no and I also have been pleasantly surprised at how easy it was. I like that response question though, “Why do you ask?” Good one.

  8. NewHarvest said,

    on November 25th, 2005 at 8:22 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Bravo, Jen. I posted something along the same lines a couple of weeks ago. If you don’t wanna do it, don’t do it – that’s my motto and I’m sticking to it. Hey! That rhymes!

  9. drewsfamilytx said,

    on November 25th, 2005 at 8:38 pm

    Untitled Comment

    I’ve been really good at saying no lately…for things like our church mission conference. But then somehow I get drafted anyway…and then forget to say the second NO. Oh well. I promise I’ll do better next year!

  10. TOSPUBLISHER said,

    on November 25th, 2005 at 9:31 pm

    Untitled Comment

    1. Can you come over and clean my sick house?

    2. Will you watch my kids for a week so I can go hang out with Paul?

    3. Can you do my laundry? It’s been a month and it’s starting to, well….smell.

    4. Will you help me pick the fleas off my dog? They are really getting bad….


    on November 25th, 2005 at 9:54 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Jen Dahhhling-

    You do post the most clever topics. Where ever do you get them…!!?? : )

    I just got back with my darling daughters from viewing the new Pride & Prejudice film. I found it rather delightful! I simply could not say No to my girls or to such a fine film as this.. We laughed until we almost cried so I would say it was splendid.

    Really though I am learning to say no and you are 100% CORRECT – I DO NOT mind it at all, sometimes I really like saying no so that I don’t over commit. Life seems to be more simple that way. I am all for simple. So thank you for mentioning all this…

    Be blessed,

    Maria – TNMOM

  12. JenIG said,

    on November 25th, 2005 at 10:28 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Dear Gena: sure.

  13. TOSPUBLISHER said,

    on November 25th, 2005 at 10:43 pm

    Untitled Comment

    heh heh, I kill me

  14. GogoMama said,

    on November 26th, 2005 at 3:36 am


    Ouch! You’re being too hard on us! lol. It’s really VERY difficult for some of us to say, “no” when it’s ingrained into us to think of others. In all honesty, if it was only people in need who were asking, the problem would be small. Unfortunately, once we get the reputation of saying yes, people take advantage of that.

    I’ve got a lot of work to do in this area, but am getting better. It’s not as simple as saying no. It requires a lot of faith in other people — faith that they’ll pick up the slack (they don’t always). It also requires recognizing that just because someone else won’t do it as well doesn’t mean their efforts don’t have value. And it requires sometimes being seen as unreliable. That’s probably the hardest one for me.

    dh has no problem with saying no. I’m learning to use that when I’m unable to do it on my own. “I’ll have to ask Paul.” Works well, though there are some in my family who now think he’s an ogre. lol. Better to be married to Shrek than to be everyone’s dumping ground 😉

  15. spunkyjunior said,

    on November 26th, 2005 at 10:40 am

    Untitled Comment

    Nice to finally meet you, Ryann, Erin and Coie (my twin) last night! My mom and I had such a blast 🙂 I am still shocked that Coie and I look so much alike!

  16. Jedi4sweet said,

    on November 26th, 2005 at 12:15 pm

    It works 4 me 2!! = )

    I SO agree Jen!! To commit to something because of guilt or fear is just not the way to go!

    Hope ya’ll are enjoying an awesome & very blessed Thanksgiving holiday & weekend!! ; >

  17. Pattycake said,

    on November 26th, 2005 at 3:18 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Ugh! Try saying no for a few years due to very low energy/poor health — a couple of miscarriages (anemia) — (actually — don’t try this).

    People begin to look at you like “Yeah, right … ” It becomes very humbling. I’m just starting slowly back, pitching in here and there beyond our own family. Then it’s a fear thing (“What if I say yes, and then on THAT day I’m having a really bad day …”) I almost hate committing to something and then backing off, than saying no in the first place. But I’ve had to. In fact, I may have to do that tomorrow concerning something, if I don’t feel a whole lot better very soon.

  18. momtoaaaa said,

    on November 26th, 2005 at 7:51 pm


    Were you talking to me?? I am one of those people who say YES to everything and then try to think of a way to get out of it…. I have gotten better! Thanks for the reminder! Jennifer

  19. Dalyn said,

    on November 26th, 2005 at 7:57 pm

    Untitled Comment

    I don’t mind saying “no”. It’s kind of fun to see the shocked look on their face when it’s said pleasantly and with a smile. I hate it when someone askes me to do a rotten job when you know they could do it but don’t want to, either.

    Pah! I say, “no”. he he he.

  20. CoffeeAndAMuffin said,

    on November 26th, 2005 at 8:27 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Sometimes I’m TOO good at saying “no”.

  21. CoffeeAndAMuffin said,

    on November 26th, 2005 at 8:32 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Do you know one kind of place in which you can say no that most people don’t? (I know, bad sentence structure, but that’s how it came out of my brain.) In the checkout line at Toys ‘R’ Us or Linens & Things when the cashier asks, “Could I please have your telephone number?” (me) NO. (cashier) Okay. (End of discussion). I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen someone submissively announce their phone number in the hearing of all who were within earshot. Duh!

  22. angelstar said,

    on November 26th, 2005 at 10:12 pm

    Untitled Comment

    I’m so glad you wrote about this horrible problem of not being able to say “no”. As a person on both sides of this issue – never saying “no” and now saying “no” a lot -I can honestly say that you are right. It’s better to say “no” when you have to and when you want to then to be miserable because you wanted to say “no” but didn’t. It’s really okay to say “no”! Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and God Bless!!

  23. RainyDayMichele said,

    on November 26th, 2005 at 10:14 pm

    Untitled Comment

    I absolutely agree. I had trouble when I was younger in saying no. But no longer. My first priorities are my relationship with my Heavenly Father, my dh and my children. If something detracts from that…I say no. If I feel the Lord leading me to do something…then I will do it with a joyful spirit. But I am no longer afraid to say no and you are so right… really isn’t hard and the world keeps spinning. lol. Blessings to you, Jen, and I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

  24. Jammie said,

    on November 26th, 2005 at 11:45 pm

    Untitled Comment


  25. hiplvmom2 said,

    on November 27th, 2005 at 6:49 pm


    Sure Nope Sure Nope…. You cracked me up! Beastly children Hahahaha laughing some more!

    Peace & Happiness,


  26. mamaduso said,

    on November 28th, 2005 at 10:59 am

    Untitled Comment

    I never say Yes until I ask my hubby. He is usually a good judge of whether or not I can do something (time/stress etc.) And if I don’t want to do something then I tell him and then he tells me no I can’t do it and then if any one gets mad they get mad at him not me. Its a really good system actually. He is much better at handling it if someone gets mad (which no one ever has to my knowledge) than I would be. I would feel bad but he doesn’t. I really recommend you gals who have a hard time saying no but want to learn to try this. It really works. Besides that I really honor him and his leading of our family and our lives by doing it this way.


  27. jettgal90 said,

    on November 28th, 2005 at 6:43 pm

    Please don't tie my hands

    My husband and my dear mother in law always say they are going to tie my hands and tape my mouth, so I won’t volunteer.

    I am getting better 🙂

    I don’t want to be tied up!!!

  28. julie said,

    on December 1st, 2005 at 11:17 pm

    I learned this…

    a few years ago I came to a point where I knew I needed to learn this concept…I was so overwhelmed…and pretty much had a nervous break down…since I’ve been saying “no, I really can’t commit to that right now” I have been a much more balanced person. And you know what….deep down people really do appreciate it when you’re honest…now imagine that?

    So Jen…always know that I will be honest when you ask me to do something…

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