Jeneric Jeneralities ~ by JenIG


I was blessed with an over abundance of pet peeves.  Almost everything annoys me.  It’s a gift.  Anyways, somewhere on the (very long) list of things that drive me nuts include ‘children trying to tell me something when I’m in the bathroom’.


Usually when this happens I just bellow maniacally, “I… AM… IN… THE… BATHROOM!!!”  But every once in a while I panic about possibly missing something important.


So the other day when I was in the shower and I heard an imperative sounding BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, I let the five year old state his case from behind the door.  It was an urgent statement followed by a question:


“Something something something something!!!… something something R-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-I-I-I-CE???!!!


Me: “WHAT?!”


“Dippy something something teeth!!… something something Ri-i-i-i-i-i-I-I-CE?!”


Me: WHAT??!!”


“Dippy is something breaking my teeth… something something R-i-i-i-i-i-I-I-CE?!”




So after getting OUT of the shower and begin investigating, I learn that the ever-so- important message that HAD to be delivered RIGHT THEN was:


“Dippy is making me some tea…. Isn’t that N-i-i-i-i-i-I-I-CE?!”


In other news, I came up with a new idea to help my beginning reader.  I’ve been sort of unsatisfied with the reading curriculum I have for him.  I mean, I do like it (Explode the Code) but he needed extra work and the Bob Books just don’t do it for him because he’s a little too old to be interested in ‘Meg and Her Ten Cats”


So I got a notebook with 70 sheets and I started writing one-page stories.  And I told him after he reads every single page I will take him on a date.  This has been a huge hit.  Plus, he likes the stories I write for him.  Here’s an example of two:


A bunch of snow fell. The boy made a snowman.  He stuck a bomb inside the snowman and then he blew off the snowman’s head.




The Mom said, “If you do not clean up my room I will shoot the dog.”  The good boy cleaned up her room, so then the mom shot the cat.


I wish I would have thought of this sooner.  He is begging me to write him four or five stories a day.


In other news, my non-blogging daughter has been blogging more than me lately.  Freaky Friday.






January 10th, 2009 - Posted in 2009, Uncategorized | | 18 Comments

18 Responses to ' Creating Extreme Readers for Adventuresome Boys '

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  1. Heather said,

    on January 10th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    Girlfriend, you and I have the exact same pet peeve! I don’t know what it is about our kids, but everytime I GET IN THE BATHROOM (not when anyone else goes in there, mind you), all of a sudden they have an urgent request that I too cannot distinguish beyond the door, or HAVE to use the restroom and can’t hold it another second! UGH!! If I weren’t washing my hair at that time, I’d probably pull it out. lol! Yep, I’m with ya on that pet peeve. I really like your reading idea too! Love those stories, btw…especially the cleaning the room one. Good idea…especially after all those shower interruptions. lol! Oh…and my girls just love that video of you guys. They keep watching it over and over again, laughing hysterically. lol!! Evidently, you’re a pretty entertaining family!

  2. SmallWorld said,

    on January 10th, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    My goodness! Why haven’t we all thought of the write-your-own-story technique? It’s so simple, it’s brilliant! Good grief! What a bunch of money we waste on curriculum sometimes! (OK, really I only spend $7 on a used book to teach my kids to read, but still.)

  3. Melissa said,

    on January 10th, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    I’m extremely gifted too. If I started blogging about my pet peeves, my blog would suddenly become very active.

    You ought to publish beginning readers. My boys are going to want to read your stories.

  4. jess said,

    on January 10th, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    Your homemade stories are funny…and somewhat disturbing too. off to Coie’s blog!

  5. Joanne said,

    on January 10th, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    Jen –

    I appreciate your blog so much (and your New Years Resolution about blogging). Reading about your family encourages me to develope deep relationships with my kids and to make our home fun and their favorite place to be. Thanks for your example.

    By the way, I hate being interrupted while in the bathroom. Actually, I hate being yelled at from across the house as well. Often, in a bit too sweet of a voice, I say, “Come talk to me in the same room as I am. I can’t hear you.”


  6. Latte said,

    on January 10th, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    ditto on that pet peeve, I also hate for them to touch my office chair while I am in it, HATE IT! WEEEIRRD huh? Oh well!~ Your pet peeve story cracked me up! Also loved the short stories for the new reader…gotta love creativity in us momma’s (when the cobwebbed brains of ours works and we can be creative huh?


  7. Maria said,

    on January 10th, 2009 at 9:30 pm

    First – WHAT!?? no mention of your head hurting at Starbucks. I am actually glad you didn’t mention it – and than blame me! ha ha and than I love the shower story cause I have always wondered if it is only me who gets in the shower and than the door starts being banged on. Half the time I just close my eyes and pray that the Lord keeps them safe until I get out.
    AND i now want to officially mention that I definitely got the little new years message that you sneaked in….ahem. You are one clever girl with long hair. That’s all I have to say! giggle… giggle…
    Love you!

  8. Michelle said,

    on January 11th, 2009 at 12:41 am

    Hilarious stories!!!
    Ugh…my kids barge INTO the bathroom! (They have figured out how to pick the lock…seriously!) So now the open the door a smidge and holler through the crack.

  9. on January 11th, 2009 at 6:14 am

    One more mom who has “the bathroom issue”. The awesome part is that my toddler likes to try to help mommy go potty.

    So today’s conversation went something like this:
    *me sitting on toilet while son tries to “tickle” my knee and hands me Hallmark ornaments I’ve stashed in the bathroom to be put away*
    Daughter bellows from living room _much muted hollering that on the 5th try translates to “Can I open the front door? Jade’s out front and wants to talk to me.”

    Me: WHAAAAT?

    Translation occurs. I holler YEAH!

    I get my knee scratched. Son hears me uh, make tinkle, and tries to potty in his diaper. Much face making and grunting occurs on both people’s sides as I am introducing the “this is also where we poop” concept….. don’t ask how THAT goes. Literally. HA

    Daughter bellows something a multitude of times that translates into “can I go to the park and play?”

    Still getting knee scratched, then get handed a whole stack of ornaments. My, isn’t it handy when Mommy sits down in one place?

    Son decides to start banging head on door because it makes a funny noise. I laugh, so he proceeds to do it 13.4 times, then moves on to the front of the sink and over to the CONCRETE wall because they all feel different and make different noises.

    Daughter bellows to ask if she needs a sweater. How would I know? I’m stuck in the bathroom on the toilet with a nearly bloody knee and my hands full of Hallmark boxes, which, lemme tell ya, makes wiping a wee *pun intended* bit difficult.

    Ah yes. Makes you want to have 12 more, don’t it? 😉

  10. JenIG said,

    on January 11th, 2009 at 8:57 am

    It is a comfort knowing that my friends are as almost weird / as weird / and weirder, than me.

  11. Heather said,

    on January 11th, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    We sure are!!! rofl!!

  12. Nancy Baetz said,

    on January 11th, 2009 at 11:26 pm

    Ya know, you be sure to film him blowing up the snowman so you can enter it into AFV’s contest and win big money! Either that, or just film your kids wanting in to El Bano with you screaming in the background. It’s a sure fire winner!


  13. Kim Wolf said,

    on January 12th, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    YOU are just TOO doggone funny!! I know that shower scene WELL, too well. A pet peve of mine is people NOT using their turn signals! Argh! Drive me nuts! (No pun intended)

    LOVED you stories. I wish you had been MY teachers. 😉

    Blessings from Ohio, Kim Wolf<

  14. Connie said,

    on January 12th, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    Yes, my pet peeve too! Although, the “outside the door” conversation usually starts out loud and then gets quiter as the sentence goes on. It irritates me to no end, especially when I’ve told them a hundred… no, a thousand… times that I don’t carry on conversations while I’m in the bathroom. Errrrgh! Also, when I’m clear across the house… or they are outside and shouting to me through the window…

    Your books would’ve been (maybe still would be?) a hit with my boys! BTW are you related to Calvin and per chance have a stuffed tiger named Hobbes? 🙂

  15. Ruth said,

    on January 13th, 2009 at 11:40 am

    I have the same pet peeve and don’t know what happens to kids the minute you get in the bathroom.
    I love the stories. Do you think you’ll be having them published? lol

  16. Marsha said,

    on January 15th, 2009 at 12:57 am

    That is so hilarious!!! I am dying laughing over here. You should get published– my boys would LOVE stories like that!!!

  17. Courtney said,

    on January 15th, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    BRILLIANT! My boys would actually read stories like those without whining! I am so ripping off your idea!


  18. Melissa said,

    on April 8th, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    Can I tell you I just love your blog? I was just laughing for about five minutes from this post-probably because it rings a cord with me.

    Melissa, a homeschooling mama to five blessings

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