The Inhospitable Hermit
Ok… first off, just for the record, I’m mad mad mad. I don’t like it when my will is thwarted and my dumb photobucket account has locked me out. And I had so many pretty pictures of Spring at the Ig Farm to post. Why oh why can’t the world just agree to revolve around me?
Anyways, this’ll just be a short post because my kids are waiting for me to take them to Bass Pro Shop to get their air tanks filled and to purchase a bucket of paintballs. Bubsie is having a belated buddy-get-together for his B-day. I hope it doesn’t rain. I don’t generally have people over too often. I’m sort of an inhospitable hermit, but I have to admit I am looking forward to having my friends (her, her and her) over tomorrow. If I had her , her and her TOO, then my whole best friend circle would be almost entirely complete.
The thing about friends (for me anyways) is that inevitably you need a particular ingredient to really cultivate and grow a truly deep and worthwhile friendship. What is that ingredient? Time. It takes time. I think it also takes a measure of crisis or ‘need’ – something that causes the phony shallow wall to crumble.
I grew up as an Air Force brat so I became a wizard at making quick – but very shallow – friendships. In the military you don’t stick around long, so you adapt. I do not have any deep strong relationships from my childhood. My husband is the longest friend I’ve ever been able to keep. After we got married we plugged into a church and it was then I began developing friendships that had roots. But I have to admit – those types of friendships are a bit intimidating to me and not always easy. But they are so worthwhile.
To have a true friend means they know YOU. Not just the perception you are able to give… but they know you. They get how you work. They see your flaws. They know your weaknesses. They understand your strengths. And the best friends I have are the ones who speak truth, who will not indulge me in bad attitudes or destructive thoughts. They are friends who tell me to zip it when I start gossiping. They also don’t take my momentary bad days and attitudes too seriously. And what’s more, they understand when I’m having a bad day and they remain stable and calm when I think the world is falling to pieces.
The most trustworthy, faithful, loyal, loving friend I’ve ever had is my husband. He never fails to amaze me. As I get to know him better I cannot help but feel overwhelmed at the amazing gift I have in him. I pray I never take him for granted. Nobody knows me like he does, and nobody ‘loves me in spite of myself’ like he does. I hope you have a husband like that. I hope I’m a wife like that.
I much prefer being an adult. I am just really thankful for where God has me in my life. It’s a sweet time and I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and happy. And thankful. Very thankful.
I hope you have true, deep friendships in your life. I know a lot of people do not. I know this because I remember when I didn’t. If you don’t, I hope that God will bring you a godly, like-minded friend. It’s hard to reach out and get involved when you’re not naturally extroverted (like me). But the gift of friendship is so lovely and so entirely blessed. It’s a very sad thought of living life without that.
Dang it, I’m still mad about my pictures. The tulips I planted last October all came up and I didn’t remember all the different colors I had planted. It was shocking. You’ll just have to take my word for it – they are miraculously exquisite.
Ok… I’m off to brave the world of overly large crowded sportsmen paraphernalia |
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April 2nd, 2009 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 14 Comments 14 Responses to ' The Inhospitable Hermit 'Leave a reply |
on April 2nd, 2009 at 5:05 pm
I can’t believe I am the first to comment… I am a needy friend.. not too needy, but needy just the same.. is that why you love me?
I’m glad your my friend and I am even more glad that I will see you tomorrow… and thinking about how you are just up the road a ways from me now at that store,, how fun! Joe was there this morning with a friend of his.
And just in case you have wondered what I have been doing all day.. runnign around town and cleaning my house. 🙂 See you tomorrow my friend!
Love you!
ps- you are very hospitable
on April 2nd, 2009 at 6:15 pm
INDEED. Friends are truly one of God’s best inventions. Wow. I should write for Hallmark. I’d make a bundle for sure!
on April 2nd, 2009 at 6:16 pm
ps what do you mean you’re not hospitable? Everything ‘hospitable’ i know, i learned from YOU. oh wait. nevermind. I just proved your point.
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on April 2nd, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Friends are such a blessing. I prayed for two years when we moved to our area for a true, deep friendship. And now God has blessed me with two friends who are such a blessing to me. We talk about real life matters and biblical truths. We laugh, cry, and struggle in life together. My husband is my closest friend, but I am thankful for women who help me to be a better Christian, wife and mom.
Blessings, I learn so much from what you share,
Joanne
on April 2nd, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Have they done some serious paintballing since we were there?? I’m jealous as it was too cold to use them when we filled up them tankers.
Sorry about the bucket of photos.
on April 2nd, 2009 at 9:12 pm
My 2 best friends are Dad, you, Coie, Emmi, Bo, Dip, and James. And Aunt Juss. And Uncle Charley. And Aunt Spiffy.
I shall stop there, but there’s more (including my shadow).
Buh-bah, Madre.
on April 2nd, 2009 at 11:41 pm
You said all this so well. Except for the braving of the sportsmen paraphenalia. I rather enjoy those moments. I have to be begged to leave. (Did I tell you about the time Chatty and my brother and I closed out Cabela’s? There was a day when I closed out bars… now it’s Cabela’s. hahaha)
But I know exactly what you mean about the making and keeping of friends in the military world. People who have lived in one place a really long time and actually know kids from high school or *gasp* elementary school kinda mystify me.
on April 3rd, 2009 at 5:54 am
Friends are indeed such a blessing. I went through a period of no close friends and being very lonely after I first got married. It’s hard to be in a position of hanging out with people just because you are both strangers in a strange land when that is really the only thing you have in common. I prayed so hard for just one or two godly women friends over here (I left some irreplaceable ones back in the US!). He was faithful to provide two women about a year later, and now after 13 more years they are still my dearest friends here. God is so faithful!
on April 3rd, 2009 at 7:58 pm
I have lived through this week because of dear friends that hold me up. I have been overwhelmed by the amazing friends God has placed in my life. I don’t deserve them, yet there they are. Two dear friends come to my house yesterday to help me sort hundreds of pictures for a baseball program I photograph. If it wasn’t for them, uugghh, I would probably still be sorting. This has just been a pretty overwhelming week in general with our Easter production this Sunday.
I pray that one day my husband will be my bff once again. So the girlfriends in my life are certainly keeping me sane and emotionally healthy. Thank you Lord for a long list of dear friends, and a core of friends who really do love me with all my many faults.
on April 6th, 2009 at 12:13 am
As an air force brat myself, I totally understand what you mean about the shallow friendships.
I am very blessed to now have lasting friendships with deep roots. With my husband definitely being at the top of the list!
Can’t wait to see you in a couple of weeks, Jen!!!
Love,
Marshie
on April 6th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Friends truly are a blessing.
Unfortunately, most of mine have moved cross-country so I don’t get to see them much face-to-face anymore, but that’s okay because I live with my bestest friend in the whole world. 😉
on April 7th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
I can totally relate…I was a navy brat and am now a navy wife! My whole life has been strings of mostly shallow relationships. But I do praise God there are several that have stood the test of time…keepers! It is a wonderful gift…and still hard sometimes to be KNOWN all the way…not just the perception of me! Ahh…good insights here, Mrs. Ig!
on April 10th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
What a slacky computer person I am!!!:(:( I am just reading this 8 days after you write it!:) You are TRULY a DELIGHT!!!! and a BLESSING and you are VERY HOSPITABLE!!!! Even when your crazy friends like me are arriving and ranting and raving and just generally freaking out!:(:):):) You stayed calm and encouraged me as did you other wonderful ladies!:) I sure do Love you all!!:):)
on April 12th, 2009 at 6:54 am
Psst – you won an award. Stop by for a good laugh. http://meloniek.blogspot.com/2009/04/zombie-chicken-award.html