Jeneric Jeneralities ~ by JenIG
February 22nd, 2006
Burning Down The Dream Home

Yep, I'm definitely a twit.  Kris Price
came over, so I pretended to have some class and lit a bunch of candles
around the house (I read somewhere that's what Classy People do).
Anyways, LoonBushels should not be allowed to play with fire. 
Being the Fake Classy Person that I am, I lit a big (broken) candle in
my bedroom that was in a straw basket with potpourri in it. Much later
that night, I smelled something sorta funny.  I told Emmiko
to blow out all the candles in the living room.  Geo was in the
bedroom taking a shower, and then all of a sudden I heard the bathroom
door open and Geoff says, “hey Jen?” real calm-like.  Too calm-like.  So I sprung up and leapt into the room, which was full
of smoke.  The candle had completely split and somehow caught the
basket and the potpourie on fire. And somehow the ugly green carpet
BEHIND the dresser also caught fire. Good Golly that gave me a fright.
Plus it stunk somethin' fierce.
Best of all, the candle was on my dresser, and seeing how my top drawer
was open (because I'm too sloppy to keep it shut) about 40 gallons of
melted wax soaked into all my undies.

Moral of the story: Fake Classy People Should Avoid Candles / Fire / Potpourri and Underwear Combinations.

February 22nd, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 34 Comments

34 Responses to ' Burning Down The Dream Home '

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    on February 22nd, 2006 at 2:39 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Hmmmmm….. not quite the story I was expecting. I was imagining a pot of beans left on the stove.. not sure where I heard that story before fdkjhfasdk

    I’m glad everyone is safe and amazed that Geo was able to stay so calm.

    I am also glad the dream home is still intact. I still havent’ seen it so please do not light any more candles until after my visit. No need to be fake for me dashfkjfasdkjhasfdkf

  2. EclecticUnschooling said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 2:43 pm

    Oh dear!!

    Too funny! Or, wait, is this supposed to be serious? *snort*

    B’bye ugly green carpet. Eeewwww.

    Hello Wal-Mart for those needful things that are now hunks of waxy cotton. LOL

    I’m glad you’re all safe and sound. No more candles in unattended rooms. ;o)

  3. DiWilliams said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 2:48 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Oh, wow. I had candles practically explode all over my kitchen counter recently. It wasn’t pretty.

    I was thinking of sending my firstborn to live with you, but then I thought better of it. You can see my latest post for details. =P

  4. PatriciaWHunter said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 3:07 pm

    Oh, my!

    Despite the stinky mess – I sure am grateful that it wasn’t any worse! I love candles – but I am always afraid that I am going to leave the house without extinguishing them all. I have been halfway to Ft. Myers and had to turn around just to make sure! BTW – you don’t need candles to be classy, Jen! Love ~ Patricia

  5. parkwaymom said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 3:39 pm

    Anti-Valentine's Day Sure to BackFIRE

    Sounds to me like you were attempting Dandelion Seed’s “SHMILEY plan”

    . . . to celebrate a Valentine’s day a week late,

    . . . with DH in the shower,

    . . . candlelight,

    . . . potpourri,

    EXCEPT for the wacky plan to get some new “For DH Eyes Only” garments

    PLUS new carpet at the same time!

    Really am glad you’re all alive and well!

    Until Further Notice . . . Celebrate Everything!


  6. hippiechyck said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 3:44 pm

    Untitled Comment

    and now you have WAX UNDIES!!!!! how very kinky!



  7. CAgirlwithasoutherndrawl said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 4:15 pm

    i am so laughing at you!


    Better make a Walmart undie-run.

  8. Kaitlin said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 4:16 pm


    Mrs Ig, I don’t know if I want to stay with you. My life could be in serious danger.

    I’d better get some insurance before I even think of staying with the Igarashis.

    🙂 Kaitlin

  9. Amber said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 4:19 pm


    ROUGBCL= Roll On the Ugly Green Burnt Carpet and Laugh! Now tell me, the Fake Classy Person that *I* am, what is a LoonBushel?

    God Bless,


    PS~ Coie regected my offer of honey, the offer still stands, plus I can throw in a beeswax candle in for ya:)

  10. lynan said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 4:21 pm

    Come Now!

    You seriously did not know better than to light candles in unattended rooms???

    I don’t know what to say. First, I see pictures of you rowing about in a leaky tub and now you are trying to burn down your dream home. Maybe its this diet? GO GET CHOCOLATE NOW!!! ROFLOL

  11. quietcajun said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 4:47 pm

    Oh… I see

    So if you’re walking kind of stiff-like it might be the wax in your panties. I used to have a SUV that had seat warmers… maybe you can ride with someone who has those (unless you have them, of course! Do fake classy people have

    “bun warmers” in their cars?) and maybe it will melt the wax from your unmentionables that have been mentioned maybe all too much today! 🙂

  12. eyecorn said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 5:33 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Ya’ know, there are easier ways to take up carpet…but burning it does take care of the disposal issue. Well, if the said undies are no longer wearable…chickadee has shared her secret use for underwear.

    But, glad your DH was there to catch it before it really got out of control and that everyone is safe.

  13. ClassicalEducation4Me said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 6:23 pm


    Jen, please do NOT feel you have to light candles just because I’m coming over. You are one classy lady without all of that (but it did smell good in there last night!). I liked the comment about the bun warmers in the car … I have those, but you better not be wearing your wax-laden panties if you drive in my car b/c I don’t want you to stick to the seat forever or anything (snort!).

    The best way to get up dried wax is to place a paper bag on top of it and iron the paper bag … the bag will absorb the wax as the heat from the iron melts it again (Be sure the iron is on a LOW SETTING!!!). Don’t light any candles on Saturday, ok?

    Love ya!


  14. chickadee said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 7:39 pm

    look out!

    don’t do it! don’t burn down your dream house.

    glad you are all ok and your husband has a good nose.

  15. chickadee said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 7:39 pm

    look out!

    don’t do it! don’t burn down your dream house.

    glad you are all ok and your husband has a good nose.

  16. Anonymous said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 7:57 pm


    OK this is just toooo funny not to leave a comment.

    The mileage we're all gonna get with this one, Jen– wax panties… burnt up carpet… hubby in shower with candles going, then going POOF!… I guess you wanted to prove that you're hot stuff? LOL MY dh would NOT have been calm, for sure.

    Of course, last night kid#4 (dd) decided to put her plastic pencil box out of reach of 4 yo little sister, and I didn't see it, till I smelled it (it was on top of her lamp). Actually, dh smelled it and I said, "Yeah, I've been smelling something wierd, didn't know what it was…" and it was right above my head the whole time. Melted plastic on a lighbulb doesn't smell any prettier than carpeting, I'm sure. Hole right in the bottom of the case, and wierd shaped plastic toy dishes now. She cried and cried. I was not particularly sympathetic.

    Anyhoo.. guess I should maybe blog about it. Hmm.

    Glad you're all ok. Make mental note: don't use anything burnable to hold candles. They make these really cool newfangled things now called CANDLEHOLDERS!!!!

    Edited by JeninNB on Feb. 22, 2006 at 5:58 PM

  17. mrsclark said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 9:18 pm


    Martha Stewart says to put votive holders in the freezer and then pry the wax out with a knife. I wonder if the same holds true with undies. Heh.

  18. JenIG said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 9:30 pm

    Untitled Comment

    you people are KILLING me. i am dying laughing. I only wish I was creative as some of you are suggesting. So does Geo. And shame on those of you who automatically jumped to an assumption that the fire was sprung from my cooking. If you would have tried the bean and bacon soup that i made today, you’d take it all right back

  19. mycrazylife said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 9:51 pm

    Untitled Comment

    That is horrible, but you make it sound so funny! Really, I am sooo glad your beautiful little farmhouse is ok and all of it’s inhabitants too!

    I tried the class thing once. Yup, just once.

  20. Mileshouse said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 10:29 pm

    Brings a whole new meaning to the words


  21. KarenW said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 10:57 pm

    Untitled Comment

    OK, you know I am just temporarily living here in the states with my mom and dad. So I have my computer set up in our bedroom on a little card table. I’m leaning on the table with one elbow, trying to read your blog but I’m laughing so hard and the table is shaking so hard that I can’t read. Thanks for the laugh. I’ve gone 22 days with out my dh and I needed a good one. Or what I really should say is…..

    Oh my! I’m so sorry! But I’m so very glad it wasn’t any worse.

    I’m glad your dh was calm. I know mine wouldn’t have been! But I guess someone needs to be calm at your house!! Seriously though, I AM glad that it wasn’t any worse. I hope we can meet in real life one day. I’ve met Jewls to Texas, Patricia Hunter and Cindy Rushton. My grand furlough tour won’t be complete if I don’t get a chance to meet you and Gena.

  22. MyChildrenAndMe said,

    on February 22nd, 2006 at 11:36 pm

    Untitled Comment

    Well, have to say that was a good laugh. I really enjoy reading your post and all. But have to say, the kids wanted to know what mommy was laughing so hard about. Just sounds like something I would do. Dh, is alway’s telling me to put out the candle’s. I might catch something on fire. mmmm this might be a great way to get that new rug I want in the bedroom.

    Debbie ” seating on edge of the edge of the chair”

  23. bensrib said,

    on February 23rd, 2006 at 6:39 am

    Untitled Comment

    Oh, this is too funny! But don’t you get all new undies out of the deal? That could be fun! Hope you’re having a good day! Karen

  24. Juldos said,

    on February 23rd, 2006 at 7:07 am

    Untitled Comment

    Sorry about the fire; but so thankful that your husband was nearby so your entire room didn’t go up in flames. Don’t stop burning candles. Just buy the candles in a jar.

    I also wanted to comment on your little boy who confessed his lie to you. Our oldest was like this when he was little. He confessed every sin he could think of. It got to be quite exhausting; but we really tried to listen and be patient with him. Now he is 18 and he is the most honest person I know. I know God has big plans for both of these boys! : )

    Happy Day!

    Julie D.

  25. Leigh2 said,

    on February 23rd, 2006 at 10:51 am

    Untitled Comment

    LOL I always knew that there was a reason that I was not a candle person. I’m very glad that there was not more damage done!

  26. Energyfree said,

    on February 23rd, 2006 at 12:12 pm


    So I guess if you ride in a fancy car with seat warmers and you are wearing wax pants, you could revive the entire clothing genre: hot pants!! ROFL. Glad you’re all ok.

  27. whirlwind said,

    on February 23rd, 2006 at 3:25 pm

    Toooooooo Funny!!!!!!

    Excuse me while I say I’m glad it was you and not me. =) My 6 yo DD is now my “check” system, since a) in the past I’ve left candles unattended and b) we taught her about fire safety — thus she is now phobic about candles! At bedtime/when we leave the house/in the car, etc: “Mom, did you blow out all the candles?!?!?” Basically I’m avoiding candles all together for awhile!

  28. danib said,

    on February 24th, 2006 at 12:34 am

    "Classy" candle tips

    Okay, Jen … not that I’m classy or anything; I’m flunking the course at the moment, but there are ways to fireproof your house, even with candles!

    Always use a candleholder or candleplate! PartyLite has great ones that don’t crack even if your candle disintegrates.

    Always trim your wick and hug the wax in. Long wicks make the big holes and waste too much wax; they also burn hotter. Hugging the wax makes sure you don’t get the deep holes, and makes your candle last longer. Big holes often mean hot flame and fire danger!

    Also, even though I use other brands too, PartyLite candles melt at lower temps so little fingers don’t get burned, and neither do baskets, potpourri, dressers or undies! Of course, refraining from placing burnables directly under candles would help!

    Using these rules, I actually do leave my 3-wicks (must burn at least 8 hours at a time) unattended even when popping out to the store.

    It can be done safely, Jen. Lesson done for today (maybe I can get extra-credit for helping a “class”-mate!). ; )

  29. DandelionSeeds said,

    on February 24th, 2006 at 9:15 am

    Untitled Comment

    PERFECT! Now you can get rid of all those worn out pairs of underwear and get down to business with the “drawer of many blessings”! Get to it!


    Love ya,


  30. DandelionSeeds said,

    on February 24th, 2006 at 9:20 am

    Untitled Comment

    And I do believe there may have been more behind the moral of the story… which was: you were supposed to call “Dandelion” and you didn’t and therefore, the Lord was making a point in reminding you… you know, with the whole fire – spark up your marriage thing… It’s so obvious… don’t you see it??!!

    For those of you following the story… I did talk to Jen, and she wasn’t nearly as weird as thought she would be (thank goodness) and she has such a pleasant tone to her voice. I’m sure she was equally as surprised of my sexy phone voice as well. a;sldkfj;sadlkfja;slkjfd

    Okay… I must stop now… too much sarcasm before coffee is never safe.

    Amy aka Dandelion aka wife to “Mr. Seeds”

  31. julie said,

    on February 24th, 2006 at 10:06 am

    Ugly green carpet and waxy undies….hmmmmm

    Hey…I have ugly green carpet (from the 70’s) in my bedroom too!

    And…sounds like a good excuse for some new (CLASSY!) underwear!

    Oh Geooooooo…..go shoppin’ with yur honey and get dat girl some sexy undies!

    And throw away the candles!!! No fire play for you Ms. Jen!

  32. Buckeyeblog said,

    on February 25th, 2006 at 10:50 am

    Do I see a Victoria's Secrect run in your future?

    YOU are just FAR TOO FUNNY!! roflol!!

    However…I was laughing out of pure joy to have someone in MY club!! I almost burned our last house down w/a candle. I let it burn too far down into the wooden WALL sconse I had it in…when I saw it, there was a 6″ flame burning up my wall only INCHES from my curtains!!!!!!!! I got that sucker out in a hurry!

    Although, unlike you, I still have my undies! 😉 Love ya!

    Blessings, Kim Wolf<><

  33. LindaI said,

    on February 27th, 2006 at 1:04 pm

    oh goodness

    I dont know what is funnier the entry or the comments

    “whole new meaning to the words bikini wax” I was rotfl!

  34. HeartnSoul said,

    on February 27th, 2006 at 11:36 pm

    Burnin' Down the House

    Isn’t that the name of a Christian song…? First of all your writing is so funny, I needed a smile today 😀 I also need to join a blubber reducing club lol.

    Anyway I have to agree with the Partylite post 🙂 Regular candle wax burns hotter than oil-wax too. My SIL and her family had to move out of their house in January because she left a 3 wick burning in a glass bowl along w/ potpourri and went to the store. The candle was not PL (I asked). They are living in a hotel until all surfaces in their home are redone. New everything everywhere, countertops, drapes, carpet, walls, clothing, everything smells of smoke, even photo albums and books. They are fortunate that insurance covers it today…I was a little surprised it did 🙂

    I also have another friend who has a whole new home, left a candle burning with potpourri around the bottom, non PL again. A PL candle, you can place your finger into the oil/wax and not get burnt, but regular wax will give you a blister. Glad everyone was ok there.

    Count your blessings..


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